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Your body knows.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on May 08, 2023
We all have heard happily married people say, “You’ll know immediately when you’ve found the right one to be with.”
Common wisdom suggests that it’s almost instinctual as if your body just knows you’ll be okay with that individual. It’s a romantic thing that we’ve all encountered or hope to encounter one day.
Believe it or not, the opposite concept is very true, too. Studies have shown that our bodies will often signal that we need to stay away from someone sooner than our hearts or minds will. How do you find your soulmate? These signs tell you he's definitely not.
Make no mistake about it, if you notice yourself reacting in the following ways, these are all signs he's not the one and that your own body is trying to tell you to leave someone be.
Here are 10 ways your body tells you he's not the one for you:
1. You feel tense around them, even when they’re kind to you
A common thing that happens when someone isn’t right for you is a pervasive feeling of tension, even when no reason has been given to be worried or stressed near that person. If you find yourself constantly on edge around them, they’re not the one for you.
2. His body language seems “off,” even though you can’t really figure out why
Maybe it’s the fact that his eye contact seems empty to you, or that his smile doesn’t seem fully genuine. Perhaps it’s that his body language is aggressive, but doesn’t match what he’s saying.
Our subconscious tends to pick up on tiny details about a person’s body language and facial expressions that we consciously cannot. Once again, if you’re getting the vibe his body language isn’t right, you’re better off listening to it.
3. At times, it almost feels like he’s hiding a secret that you won’t like
That’s the best way to explain what that vibe feels like. Simply put, a person who’s honest with you will not give off the vibe that there’s some sort of secret dealing that will hurt you later on.
4. The way he smells doesn’t please you
No, I’m not talking about his switch from Armani to Versace Cologne. I’m talking about his natural scent.
This sounds really, really weird, but believe it or not, science backs it up. We tend to be happiest with mates that have pheromones that jive with our own. These partnerships tend to produce stronger children and also tend to be more long-lasting. If you feel like his smell “changed,” that’s your body’s way of saying you’re over him.
5. You can’t explain it, but even if you’re happy with them, you don’t feel like everything is alright
There are a lot of people who have perfect-on-paper relationships but run away without a second thought. Why? Because, though it was allegedly perfect, they felt something wasn’t right.
6. For a reason you don’t understand, you can’t take your eyes off him — but not in a good way
This habit may or may not come with a feeling of fear. This is often a sign that you’re subconsciously picking up on a predator, much like the way deer tend to stare at hunters in the forest.
7. When you first met him, you felt physically repulsed by him but kept feeling like you had to “be nice” regardless
More often than not, your gut instinct is what keeps you alive and safe. Many, many people out there claim to have avoided certain dangers by listening to their initial feelings about a person and running the other way, even when others claimed that the guy was “alright.”
If your guts are telling you to run, don’t bother sticking around just to be “nice” to someone — RUN! It’s better to be a jerk than a statistic.
8. Even when you interact with him in a positive way, you’re left with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach
If you’ve ever been around a sociopath, chances are that you know that weird, borderline-queasy vibe you get around someone who’s bad for you. It’s an unmistakable feeling that often comes with feelings of dread, self-doubt, or general unease.
That feeling in the pit of your stomach is your body’s way of saying, “Don’t trust this guy!” So, listen to it.
9. For the life of you, you can’t be sexually attracted to him
Sexual attraction is a thing that can tell you if you would be compatible in at least one way. No sexual compatibility means that it won’t work out long-term, and while other signs he's not the one on this list may be more pressing, a lack of attraction definitely does mean that a lasting romantic relationship with him isn’t in the cards.
10. The idea that you will be with that person for the rest of your life makes your blood run cold or makes you feel slightly sick
Yeah, that’s your body’s way of telling you “HECK NO!” If that’s the reaction you’re getting when you think of being with him forever, you are not meant to be.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.