5 Subtle Behaviors That Make Women Naturally Irresistible To Everyone Around Them
It's the confidence and presence these women bring into every room without even trying.
Alison Erickson | Unsplash Have you ever wondered why some women seem to have a presence about them that effortlessly draws everyone around them closer? It might not have all that much to do with their looks, either.
It's the energy they exude. It's the way they light up a room when they walk in. Maybe they listen attentively, or they carry themselves with thoughtful kindness without ever really realizing it.
Here are 5 subtle behaviors that make women naturally irresistible to everyone around them:
1. She knows what she want
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You know when you go shopping for a car or a new house, you have some idea of what you want. Automatic or standard? Red or black? Ranch or cape? City or suburbs? Either way, you head into one of the biggest decisions of your life, knowing what you want.
Of course, we can’t always get exactly what we want. Sometimes, what we want ends up being different from what we thought we wanted, but knowing mostly what we're looking for at the outset is important.
People always say they want someone attractive, funny, intelligent, financially secure, etc. However, how do you want your person to make you feel?
For example, instead of someone being attractive, you might like someone who makes you smile when you see them. Instead of someone being funny, you might like someone who makes you laugh out loud. Someone financially secure may mean someone who makes you feel safe.
Knowing how you want someone to make you feel is way more important than looking for specific traits in someone.
You know that guy who's cute, but then he opens his mouth and what comes out makes you want to run for the hills? That's what I mean. So, take stock of what it is you truly want in a relationship and how you want your forever person to make you feel because women who know what they want are naturally irresistible.
2. She looks hard at her past
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Do you know the phrase, "History repeats itself"? It does, and in more ways than one. If you take a moment and take a rundown of your last few partners, I'm betting that all of them have at least one thing in common.
Unless we learn, we tend to choose the same people over and over. We make the same mistakes over and over. This is why so many second marriages fail — because we don’t learn a thing from our first marriage, and we plunge in again quickly and blindly.
So, take a serious look at your past. On a piece of paper, write down the pros and cons of the last few people you have dated. Note their similarities and vow to yourself that you won’t get involved with someone similar again.
Reflecting on past experiences, especially challenges overcome, can lead to personal growth and self-awareness, according to one study. This growth, in turn, can foster qualities like resilience, wisdom, and emotional maturity, which may be perceived as attractive in a partner.
3. She doesn’t ignore red flags
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Red flags are those things that you notice that, as your relationship develops, cause concern. Perhaps your person isn’t nice to their mother, or spends a lot of money, or struggles to hold a job, or doesn’t like your friends. You know what I'm talking about.
The thing about red flags is that they are ignorable, and as a result, they get ignored. We see the flags and look past them, hoping that we're wrong, or hoping that our person will change, or hoping that if we just love them enough, those red flags will disappear.
Unfortunately, red flags rarely just go away. So, if you see red flags that give you pause, that make you wonder if this person is the person you want to be with, don’t ignore them.
You probably ignored them in relationships past, but I encourage you not to do it again. That is if you want to be naturally irresistible to to others, the first step is to stop choosing the wrong person over and over.
4. She leans on her friends
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How many times have you had someone in your life, and your friends told you that that person just wasn’t good for you?
How many times did they see the things that you didn’t or weren’t willing to see? How many times did they encourage you to stop taking so much and move on?
It's essential that, if your friends — the ones who know you well — see issues with your person, listen to them. More often than not, your friends only want what's best for you. Yes, they might have extreme ideas about how bad your person is for you, but their ideas are, more often than not, based on the truth.
So, even if you don’t trust yourself to stop choosing the wrong person over and over, trust your friends to have your best interests in mind and look out for you. That’s what friends are for.
Women often exhibit higher emotional intelligence, which allows for deeper connections and more meaningful conversations. A 2014 study explained that active listening, which involves restating a paraphrased version of the speaker's message, asking questions, and maintaining moderate to high nonverbal involvement, is a key component.
5. She's not scared to be alone
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One of the major reasons that we choose the wrong person over and over is because we're willing to take whatever presents itself to us. We're so scared of being alone, or we believe that the person in front of us is the best that we can do, that we try to make them more than they are.
Because we are scared of being alone that we ignore red flags, we don’t listen to our friends, and we talk ourselves into believing that this person can be who we want them to be if we just love them enough.
So, a key part of how to stop choosing the wrong person over and over is to know that it’s okay to be alone. And it’s essential that you believe that you can — and will — find someone else.
What I can promise you is that, if you stay with someone wrong for you, you'll waste time not being single and available for when the right person comes along.
We all do it. We all go into dating knowing that we want to be in a couple, but we don’t necessarily know what we want.
Furthermore, we don’t look at our previous relationships to learn from past mistakes. We ignore red flags and our friends' advice, and we compromise because we are worried that we will be alone forever.
The right person is out there for you. Follow these steps, and you will find them and you too can live happily ever after.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
