5 Small Things Couples Do Daily (And Weekly) That Matter More Than Pretty Much Anything Else In Marriage
Colin + Meg | Unsplash A strong sense of purpose has an important role in romantic relationships. Research has found that couples who have a clear sense of purpose build longer-lasting relationships. Sharing life goals that are meaningful improves commitment because you're more invested in the relationship. Emotional investment contributes to a happier relationship, and a happier couple becomes more aligned in their goals.
Maintaining the spark of a romantic relationship takes work, especially as years pass, but it’s the good kind of work — a labor of actual love. Entrepreneur and motivational speaker Justin Prince shared the daily and weekly techniques he uses to stay close to his spouse, and they’re simple practices that matter more than pretty much anything else in marriage.
Here are five small things couples do daily and weekly that matter more than anything else in a marriage:
1. Schedule a weekly date night
Prince knows how hard it can be to carve out time for each other. “I know I’m busy, I know you’re busy. We’re traveling, we have kids, we need a babysitter, I know it’s hard,” he said as an example of the kinds of things couples say to one another.
Yet no matter how busy you may be, it’s still important to find time to reconnect as a couple. Those acts of reconnection don’t have to be fancy — grab a meal, take a walk together, or watch a show you’ve never seen. One study said that date nights don't have to be complex; all you have to do is sit down and spend some time talking. No agenda, no expectations, just chat and be reminded why you like each other.
2. Make time to talk
Prince explained that couples talk all the time, yet what they talk about often lacks a certain resonance. He said, “Most couples, particularly over time, their communication is, ‘What’s for dinner? How was work? Are you picking up the kids, or am I picking up the kids?”
In other words, conversations become transactional, rather than emotional or intellectual. He shared his way of combating that feedback loop through daily communication and asking deeper questions. He described it as maintaining a check-in or having “an actual conversation” about what's really going on with you.
Couples counselor Brittney Lindstrom agreed, suggesting, "Quality time means putting phones and other electronics or distractions away so you can be fully present with your partner. It allows you to address and periodically check in to reassess your shared vision of life goals, your current work situation, possible career moves, family life, and so on. It gives you time for intimacy, even if it's just holding hands while taking a walk together."
3. Keep that 'I'm into you' feeling alive
Halfpoint via Shutterstock
Research has shown a consistent link between physical touch and the feeling of love; the action and the emotion are undeniable. Prince offered examples of how to keep a physical connection going, including holding hands, hugging, and anything else to up the physical intimacy some couples overlook in a long-term relationship.
He revealed that emotional connection is equally as important, noting, “You can be on the same couch and be disconnected emotionally; you can be 2,000 miles away around the country, around the world, and be emotionally connected. Investing in the emotional and physical connection is a highly valuable investment, resulting in you and your partner feeling closer, no matter where you may be."
4. Look for ways to make your partner's life easier
Prince frames this activity as “looking for ways to serve,” or to make life easier for your spouse. Noticing what needs to be done around the house is an active way to combat weaponized incompetence.
5. Give sincere compliments
Prince offered one great phrase to share with your partner that shows just how much you care: “I am just so grateful for my life with you.” Sharing appreciation, especially in small, actionable ways, helps people feel closer. It’s easy to overlook the little things, and when you’ve been together for a long time, it becomes almost routine not to share intimate moments.
"The next time your partner does something that upsets you, try to compliment the good things they are doing," advised relationship coach Netia Everett. "Who knows, maybe this positive reinforcement thing will work like reverse psychology on them. Maybe if we focus more on what works instead of what doesn't, our relationships with our loved ones will become that much better."
Yet making every day and every week a little special goes a long way in maintaining the romance of a relationship, and helps to build a strong foundation for your love to continue to blossom.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers relationships, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
