4 Small Behaviors That Kill Happiness In Marriage

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Unhappy couple with arms crossed glaring at each other

A realistically positive mindset is vital to happiness and well-being for individuals and marriage. In our quest for a more balanced life and partnership, we often overthink, overcomplicate, and undercompensate until we miss the little things and our relationship unravels.

You might require some marriage maintenance to keep the love flowing if you've been ignoring some of these little behaviors.

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Here are four small behaviors that kill happiness in marriage, according to YourTango experts:

1. Conflict avoidance

You kill happiness in a marriage when you avoid conflict. Conflict is natural because you are two different people. In the end, open conversation about your differences can bring you closer together.

Roland Legge, Spiritual Life Coach

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2. Failure to listen

That doesn’t have to be you. Nor do you have to feel unappreciated, overwhelmed, or unacknowledged. Contrary to popular opinion, marriage is not hard work. Maintaining a marriage is easy and fun when you learn how to have happy and healthy relationships.

Jack Kinney, Career, Money, Relationship Facilitator

3. Neglecting appreciation

Overlooking the small acts of kindness or failing to express gratitude can slowly erode happiness in marriage. Consistently failing to acknowledge your partner's efforts can lead to feelings of being taken for granted.

Erika Jordan, Love Coach / NLP Practitioner

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4. Lack of acknowledgement

In my experience, the one small behavior that can erode happiness in a marriage is neglecting to express appreciation and gratitude towards your partner. Over time, couples may become accustomed to each other's actions and gestures, taking them for granted. The connection can start unraveling. Failing to acknowledge the efforts, kindness, or support of your spouse will lead them to feel unappreciated and undervalued, which will gradually diminish happiness and satisfaction in the relationship.

Let's be honest, the feeling of acknowledgment feels good. We want to know we are appreciated - it's a human need. So, regularly expressing gratitude and acknowledging the little things your partner does can go a long way in maintaining a strong and happy marriage. It keeps the connection strong!

Sue Kohn-Taylor, Self Leadership & Mental Fitness Specialist

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Marriage is not difficult, but a healthy marriage takes some effort. To get the most significant return for your emotional investment in marriage, we need to pay attention to our small behaviors. The little acts of kindness and understanding give us the most value in maintaining a healthy relationship. Marriage maintenance requires the courage to face inevitable conflicts from a place of love, listening with our complete attention, and appreciating and acknowledging the people we hold dear in our hearts. It doesn't take much to keep your life-long love flowing freely.

Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.