The Art Of Social Compromise: 7 Simple Ways Extraverts Stay Happily Married To Introverts
Sometimes the differences in your partner help you complete the puzzle of your life.
Lumière Rezaie | Unsplash Opposites often attract, and if you're an extravert personality type who's fallen in love with an introvert, there are times when you may struggle to connect in the relationship. After all, you feel recharged and emotionally alive when you're with other people. Your partner finds those things in time alone or in quiet times with close family.
You and your introverted partner might have wildly different personality traits and expectations for how to spend a fun Saturday night. Your extroverted self might want you to go out and party with friends and be social, while your introverted partner wants to stay in and watch a movie with you.
Introversion and extraversion — or even if you're an ambivert — can seem so wildly different that you don't know how you could have a healthy relationship. But what are the real differences between these personality types, and how can you better understand the introvert's point of view?
While extraverts feel energized in groups, introverts need time for themselves to reconnect with their inner world to replenish their energy, which is drained by interaction with the outside world.
Here are 7 ways extraverts can stay happily married to introverts:
1. Give the introvert enough space
Introverts love spending quality time one-on-one with their loved ones, but even in those conditions, their energy gets depleted after a while.
If you find them wanting to cut short the discussion or feeling tired, allow them to withdraw without asking too many questions, and don't feel frustrated by their withdrawal. They'll bring back their lovely self once recharged.
2. Don't force them to go to places they don't want to
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Introverts have a very good connection with their intuition. Although they might not be able to explain why, intuitively, they will know when a place or situation is not good for them, so they won't want to be there.
Respect their choice, and they will appreciate you even more.
3. Need ideas? Ask your introvert!
Introverts are very creative, even if they don't always artistically express their creativity. If you find yourself stuck or in need of some ideas, ask your introvert!
Not only do they love to share their ideas, but introverts feel appreciated when someone asks for this kind of support. Introverts who feel appreciated and valued for who they are will give themselves even more to their relationships.
4. Encourage your introvert to relax however they choose
Most introverts are people persons. They love to help and bring happiness to loved ones. Yet sometimes they forget about themselves and go the extra mile to help others to the detriment of their own energy.
Creating a relationship atmosphere that encourages self-expression and initiative (even if that means seeing them withdraw with a book, in nature, or into their inner world for quite some time) can help them to reconnect with themselves, a relaxing, rich place where they draw their energy from.
Not allowing them to do this will only lead to their mental fatigue, which in turn will have negative effects on your relationship.
5. Ask insightful questions to understand their introversion
Encourage your introvert to ask questions (instead of assuming you're right). Open questions that don't start with "why" are great in helping to deepen relations and understanding each other.
Don't assume you know your partner, because each situation might be different or catch you both in a different mood. The past does not equal the future unless you get stuck in your own ideas.
Introverts are curious and can ask insightful questions that could increase your awareness about each other, your relationship, and the situation you're in.
6. Remember what you liked about your introvert when you first met
Miljan Zivkovic via Shutterstock
You can get so caught in the aspects you don't like about your partner that you forget what you do like.
Remind yourself often and appreciate the behaviors you do like. This will help you get more of them from your introvert. It feels so good when you're appreciated for who you are. It's the case with introverts, too.
And if you notice a lack of the introverted behaviors you used to love, just ask what's happening or missing. You might just get the chance to rekindle your love if you spot the blockages and help remove them.
7. Enroll together in a project you both love
Introverts are project-driven, too, but only by projects dear to their heart. Find something that you both like: A common cause, for example.
Introverts are often driven by meaningful ideas that have the potential to make a better world. There's more pleasure for them to work on a project with their partner, in a real partnership focused on each other's strengths, complementing each other without imposing one's idea.
The boomerang effect of putting their energy together in the service of a bigger cause will have a positive impact on their relationship as well.
If you can't find a project to work on together, get yourself out of the way and allow your introvert to get involved in the cause they want to. The extra energy drawn from doing something worthy (in an introvert's opinion) will pour more love into your relationship as well.
Gabriela Casineanu is a life and relationship coach who specializes in life management and transitions.
