3 Simple Moments That Show How Making People Feel Loved Strengthens Every Relationship In Your Life
Jacob Lund | Canva Love is a complex yet simple emotion, and it mirrors who you are inside. How difficult or easy you find "love" depends on one thing: you and you alone.
If you don't understand love, or more specifically, unconditional love, and it seems like a maze and you're lacking a map to navigate it, keep reading. Once you begin to understand love truly, deeply, and completely, you'll happily realize that absolutely nothing is simpler.
Here's the thing: love is meant to be given away freely, without any rules or conditions. It exists in simple moments that make people feel loved. It also must survive the challenges of a relationship and bloom in its own time.
It can't be bound by the dynamics of "convenience" created by your own relationship. But if you let it flow, unbound and free, you'll amplify the quality of your love tenfold.
Here are 3 simple moments that show how making people feel loved strengthens every relationship in your life:
Simple moment #1: Giving your time and attention
Time and attention are priceless gifts — be generous with them. Make eye contact; soften your gaze while listening to your spouse and kids. Make sure your body language is open, never closed off (don't cross your arms).
Hold their hand if you can and rub their back if they get emotional. Make them sit next to you so they feel heard. Most importantly, let them pour their heart out before you start to speak. Listening is an art, and so is responding.
Small gestures like soft eye contact, a warm smile, and asking how your partner is feeling function as what researchers like renowned American psychologist John Gottman call "bids," and consistently responding to those bids with openness is one of the most reliable predictors of relationship quality. Keeping your body language open and your attention present tells the people you love that they are safe to speak freely.
Simple moment #2. Smiling often and easily
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A smile can open the rusted-shut doors of communication and melt the hardest of hearts. Really, no one can ever have enough of it.
The more you smile, the more your spouse or child will feel confident to approach you with their deepest fears, doubts, and insecurities. Your warm, open smile lets them know you are not going to judge them. Abandoning judgment is the most beautiful way to say "I love you."
Research shows that smiling is one of the warmth cues people pick up on first when deciding whether someone feels safe and approachable, and that warmth is directly tied to the kind of open, non-judgmental presence that makes real communication possible. A genuine smile does a lot more relational heavy lifting than most people give it credit for.
Simple moment #3. Being sensitive to others' needs
Show others you care by surprising them often and going out of your way for them — and not just when they're sick or tired. Do the dishes. Wake up early and drop the kids off at school. Do the laundry. Book tickets for a movie night. Order their favorite takeout. Put on her favorite song.
Treat him with a mug of hot coffee or tea when he's in the mood to laze around. Surprising your spouse and kids on a regular basis is a precious way to show unconditional love.
Relationship researcher Dr. Terri Orbuch agrees, stating, "Do and say simple things often to make your partner feel noticed and cared for. When you do, you'll notice a meaningful improvement in your relationship." Her long-term study of marriage and divorce found that couples who expressed frequent gratitude through small, regular gestures were the happiest by a significant margin, with 61% of happy couples saying their spouse often made them feel good about who they are.
When you understand that love is simply meant to be felt and experienced, you'll realize that pain disappears and is replaced with calmness and peace. Love is meant to be given freely and received as graciously as it is given.
Unconditional love, compassion, kindness, and empathy are the paths to any soul. Your highest calling as a human should be to find these paths and open the doors to the hearts of the ones you love most in your life.
A world without unconditional love will be too cold and harsh to survive, and wouldn’t last very long.
Meenu Mehrotra's work has appeared in national magazines and newspapers. She is a Certified Archetypal Consultant and Certified Angel Card Reader.
