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Do men only ever see you as a potential bride?
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on May 11, 2023
In the eyes of most men out there, there are four types of girls in the dating scene: There are the girls you wouldn’t have sex with or date. Then, there are girls you would sleep with, but not date. Then, there’s “girlfriend material.”
Finally, there’s the kind of girl you settle down with when you’re done playing the field, and that's wife material or women who know how to be a good wife.
Most girls end up having to struggle to get men to see them as wife material, and honestly, some never quite make it up there. For some girls, though, men only see them as the type to marry.
This can be frustrating since guys often won’t do anything wild or crazy with these girls. Even the mildest of us tend to have a crazy streak we want to experience with our partners, you know! I call this getting “wifezoned.”
Are you worried that guys relegate you to “wife status” even when you’re literally looking for something casual? You might be getting wifezoned, especially if you see any of these signs.
Here are 13 signs he sees you as wife material — and is desperate to marry you:
1. You only attract wholesome guys
Do all the guys you seem to attract look like they just came back from church 24/7? Is their idea of a “wild time” dinner and a movie? More often than not, this is because you’ve got a “wifey” vibe about you that makes men want to wifezone you.
2. Every guy you dated had parents who adored you
The biggest sign that you might be getting wifezoned is the reactions parents have to you. If every guy you ever dated had parents that were hyped about you being a potential daughter-in-law, then you might be the one guys bring home to mom specifically for that reason.
3. F-boys, for the most part, avoid you
Though this is not always the case, guys who have a pretty sleazy vibe around them tend to avoid women who are deemed “wifey” by most other men. This is because they might get the feeling that they don’t have a chance with the lady in question or that they’ll get chewed out.
4. People are shocked if you do anything even remotely wild, ever
Do acquaintances give you a wide-eyed look of shock every time you reach for a bottle of wine or go out clubbing? Have people told you that they “can’t imagine you” doing anything even remotely out of the norm? If so, it could be that the wholesome wife vibe you give is getting picked up by others, too.
5. You’ve had a lot of guys refuse to casually sleep with you, but offer to date you
This isn’t really the norm in modern dating. If this is happening to you, it’s because you’re attracting men who are looking for a wife and who may also have a Madonna/Wh*re complex bigger than Jeff Bezos’s bank account.
Make no mistake about it, if they’re basically telling you that they are going to need to court you “like a lady,” you’re probably being wifezoned.
6. Getting a friends-with-benefits thing often proves to be a challenge, and not because you’re unattractive
Do you have to tell guys that you might need to consider a relationship after you two have sex in order to get a FWB situation going on? They may be wifezoning you.
7. Guys have actually told you that you’re “the type of girl guys get after they sow their wild oats”
It’s always hard to figure out whether or not this is a compliment, which is why it’s hard for girls to know how to react. Regardless of whether you take it as a compliment or not, the important thing to realize here is that you he sees you as wife material.
8. You get the feeling that your partners date you because they are supposed to and because you make them look good
While there’s nothing wrong with having a partner that likes to show you off, there’s a difference between being proud and treating you like an accessory. If you feel like he’s just with you because “that’s what wives are supposed to be like,” you’re probably being wifezoned.
9. When you request to do something wild with a guy, they immediately turn it down, even when they’ve done it with other girls before
You wanted to go to a rave, they turned it down. Then you find out they went to Ultra last year with two girls. You wanted to try a threesome, but they refused. Then you find out that they’ve done it before.
If you’re dating and this happens, you’re being wifezoned and they have a Madonna-Whore Complex.
10. Men have automatically assumed that you cook, clean, and act like a 50s housewife
Have guys actually gifted you a vacuum cleaner? If you regularly get the feeling that men really don’t want to listen to you when you say you’re not always into domestic stuff, then he's the type of guy who thinks you know how to be a good wife, but not in a liberating way.
11. You have a feeling that guys are more into the image of you in their minds than the actual person standing in front of them
Most men who are guilty of wifezoning tend to put the girls they deem “wife quality” on a pedestal. Their expectations of girls they deem worthy of marriage are unreal, and might not even have anything to do with your actual personality.
If they’ve actually tried to correct you about wanting kids or wanting to cook, you’re being wifezoned.
12. Even total strangers trust you with their kids because they just assume you’re a SuperMom
Most guys wifezone girls that they feel would make great mothers for their kids. If you notice that a lot of people tend to assume you know how to deal with kids, you know what the deal is.
13. Parents have tried to set you up with their sons
Parents can play a role in wifezoning, too. If you keep getting matched by parents, it’s safe to say that you’ve got an unbelievably wholesome vibe that they want in an in-law.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.