11 Signs The Person You Love Is Only Pretending To Be Happy With You
These signs point to hidden unhappiness in a relationship.
Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock Finding out that the person you love is only pretending to be happy with you can be devastating. Everyone wants to live happily ever after, especially when they have poured their heart into a relationship. Human connection is important for our well-being. When that feeling isn’t reciprocated in a genuine way, it can be devastating.
To have a healthy relationship, both parties need to be on the same page. If someone is only pretending to be happy with you, it can take a toll on your mental health. A recent study found that happy relationships benefit your mental well-being. However, it also discovered the impact of unhealthy relationships. When someone feels unsatisfied in a partnership, neither party is going to be happy. Once you see these 11 signs, you’ll know it’s time for you to move on.
Here are 11 signs the person you love is only pretending to be happy with you
1. They don’t prioritize spending time with you
Pressmaster via Canva
Quality time is essential in relationships. When one partner chooses to spend more time outside of the partnership, they may be only pretending to be happy with you.
Studies show that spending time together is one of the most important things couples can do to maintain a positive relationship. When one person is spending more time at work or with friends, it can be a sign that the person you love isn't as happy with you as they want you to believe.
2. They seem irritable for no reason
Alex Green from Pexels via Canva
At the beginning of the relationship, both partners are enthusiastic about one another. They want to listen to what the other has to say, connect on an emotional level, and soak in every minute together. When one partner begins to feel unhappy, they will become overly irritable.
Irritability can be a sign of resentment. A partner who is on edge around the other may be dealing with resentment towards the other person or the relationship in general. If you notice your partner has less patience with you, it could be a sign that they are only pretending to be happy with you.
3. They don’t engage in deep conversations
Prostock-studio via Canva
Someone who is only pretending to be happy with you will not look to further their connection with deep conversations. Everything is kept at the surface level, and they avoid any conversations of substance because they no longer care, or they’re possibly withholding emotions to make it easier to leave.
Having sincere conversations where you can share your feelings with your partner is important. When one member of the relationship isn’t willing to have these talks with you, they are only pretending to be happy with you.
4. They put less effort into making you feel good
Africa Images via Canva
Has your partner stopped complimenting your outfits or noticing when you get your hair done? This can be a tell-tale sign that they are only pretending to be happy with you.
Compliments will become shallow if they’re given at all. They will also stop sending flirty texts or checking in with you throughout the day. Gone are the days of sweet date nights. Someone who is only pretending to be happy with you will stop trying to make you feel good entirely.
A study found that women are more in tune with the compliments their partner gives them. If you notice they’re getting less frequent or stopping altogether, it could be time to let the relationship go.
5. They do anything to avoid an argument
Timur Weber from Pexels via Canva
Disagreements happen in every relationship. A partner who does not want to argue with their significant other may seem like a positive thing. However, a University of Tennessee study found that couples who are happy actually argue more than those who are not.
A couple who value their relationship are looking to solve the issues that arise. They have hard conversations to improve their dynamic. When someone becomes overly agreeable, it can be a sign that they don’t truly care about the relationship and are only pretending to be happy with you.
6. They are less affectionate
shisuka via Canva
Did your partner once shower you with affection? They were always sure to hold your hand when you were out and made time to cuddle with you on the couch. Have you noticed that affection is dwindling? Your partner could be only pretending to be happy with you.
A study found there is a direct link between affection and relationship satisfaction. When a couple is comfortable showing affection, they tend to be happier than those who either cut off affection or limit it. Those who choose to be less affectionate may not be happy in their relationship.
7. They lack emotional connection
Syda Productions via Canva
To have a happy relationship, both parties have to be open emotionally. According to a recent study, people with higher relationship satisfaction are emotionally connected, meet their partners with humor, and value each other's feelings.
Sharing vulnerability and stepping up for the other person is key to maintaining a happy relationship. If you notice changes in this connection, the person you love is only pretending to be happy with you.
8. They stop showing excitement when they see you
Keira Burton from Pexels via Canva
The honeymoon phase of a relationship is filled with joy. When you have a happy relationship, that giddiness to see one another may get less intense, but it is always there.
A partner who can’t or won't show that they’re happy to see you is clearly only pretending to be happy in the relationship. If your significant other makes seeing you feel like a drag, it is time to rethink that union.
9. They stop initiating intimacy
RDNE Stock Project from Pexels via Canva
Intimacy helps you feel a deeper connection with your partner. When one person in the couple stops initiating intimacy, it could be a sign that they are unhappy in the relationship.
There is a direct connection between relationship satisfaction and needs being met. If you’re not getting your need for intimacy met, you will become unhappy with your partner. When the person you love stops initiating intimacy and you grow dissatisfied as a result, it could be a sign that they were already unhappy in the relationship.
10. They don’t want to talk about the future
martin-dm via Canva
Happy couples love to make plans for the future. Whether that’s something as small as an exciting date or as major as a wedding, having moments to look forward to helps create a strong bond.
When the person you love is only pretending to be happy with you, they will likely shut down conversations about the future. They may be unwilling to fully commit to you. Another sign they are not willing to make future plans with you is being too agreeable. They may lead you on by pretending to be on the same page.
11. They rewrite your history as a couple to make leaving easier
Syda Productions via Canva
Every relationship has a happy story somewhere in its history. There is always a reason why two people are drawn to each other, and for most, they cherish the happy moments they share with that person.
However, when someone is only pretending to be happy with you, they may start to rewrite the relationship's history. They’ll downplay happier times or pretend they never cared at all. This is an easy way to further disconnect from the relationship when they feel it's coming to an end.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
