Love, Self

Why People Stay In Sad, Unhealthy, Unhappy Relationships (And How To Break Away)

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Why Am I Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship

It’s no secret that you lay in bed at night asking the same question over and over again: "Why am I staying in an unhealthy relationship?"

You hope to get a different answer to what you already know is true. You feel like it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t, but is it?

The reason why people stay in unhealthy relationships is because they are filling a need.

A need that they believe they are unable to fill anywhere else so they settle for less than they deserve.

That relationship can be with a significant other, a sibling who is not very nice, a job you don’t like, even your use of food or alcohol, or spending to fill a need you are having a hard time meeting through healthy means.

Many people stay in unhealthy relationships for years, thinking they are stuck or have no choice. The truth is that the answer to getting out of an unhealthy relationship is pretty simple and easy to correct, it starts with you!

Your relationship is a reflection of the one you have with yourself.

If you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself, it will be reflected in the relationships you have with others. You treat yourself poorly so you accept the same behavior of others upon you.

If you have low self-esteem and don’t think you are worthy or deserving, you let others walk all over you. You feel unlovable so you accept people who treat you that way.

At the end of the day, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You can change it all and get out of unhealthy relationships and into healthy ones and it starts with yourself.

1. Start believing that you are worthy. 

You didn’t need to do anything to be loved when you were born. Nothing changed as you grew up. You are worthy of being loved just because you are you. Start treating yourself with the love and respect you desire now.

2. Know that you are deserving. 

You are deserving of a healthy relationship with yourself and others, one that is based on unconditional love. You are deserving of kindness and consideration start with practicing giving it to yourself now.

3. Learn to F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself).

You will never do good things for someone you don’t like so learn to F.L.Y. now.

Eliminate the unhealthy relationship you have with yourself by treating yourself as you would a stranger in need. Give yourself the gift of love and acceptance. Be nice to yourself and value the gift you were given just being born.

4. Believe you are already good enough. 

You may feel that you need to be more to have all that you desire but you are already good enough. There is nothing you need to do or be that would make you more perfect.

Know that you are already good enough, perfectly imperfect making you one of a kind.

5. Remember that you are a human "being", not a human "doing". 

Start being in this moment as the best version of yourself and celebrate the gifts you bear and share them with the world.

Once you start applying these simple suggestions, you will find that the next time you ask yourself, "Why am I staying in an unhealthy relationship?", you will know it isn’t about you any longer.

Lisa Lieberman-Wang is the Co-creator of Neuro Associative Programming (NAP) and Licensed Master Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner & Trainer. You can find more helpful tips to loving yourself and improving your life here at Fine To Fab, or by calling 1-844-FINEtoFAB. Pick up a copy of her book, Fine to Fab, here

This article was originally published at Fine to Fab. Reprinted with permission from the author.