9 Signs A Man Is Cutting You Off From Their Life Without Telling You Directly
He won't say it out loud, but these behaviors are his way of slowly walking away.
Toa Heftiba Chn | Unsplash You've just met this amazing guy and are having the time of your life. He's everything you want: smart, fun, outgoing, successful, charming, a great conversationalist, and more. It's been several weeks, and things are going so well, you pinch yourself to make sure this is real. Yet, every so often, you feel this practically imperceptible undercurrent that something is a little bit off — but he hasn't verbally indicated anything is wrong.
You can't put your finger on it. You sweep it under the carpet because you are finally dating someone great. Still, you can't deny this nagging suspicion that he's quietly distancing himself without saying anything. How can you know if he's filling time with you and it's temporary — or if he's passive-aggressively cutting you off from his life?
Here are 9 signs a man is cutting you off from their life without telling you directly:
1. He hasn't introduced you to family
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
One surefire sign that you're moving into a serious relationship is when you meet the parents. Sometimes this can take up to three months, but it can be sooner. You may have invited him to dinner with your parents, but there’s no mention of meeting his.
If it's been six to eight weeks and you haven't met any of his friends either, that tells you he's not serious, no matter what he says. Remember, what a man does and his actions are more important than what he says to know about his intentions.
2. He doesn't plan ahead
fizkes / Shutterstock
Your new beau might talk about the future, but he doesn't plan very far in advance. When you talk about getting tickets to a concert a few months away, he's not sure. If you bring up a summer weekend away, he changes the subject.
When your man would rather be spontaneous, chances are he's hedging his bets and keeping his options open in case he finds a better option.
One study found that people who anticipated ending a relationship avoided making long-term plans with their partners. This avoidance can be a subconscious way of preparing for emotional distance.
3. He's inconsistent with his attention and availability
New Africa / Shutterstock
Even though you have the best time together, he's not consistently available. Some weeks, you see him more than once, but then a couple of weeks go by before you hear from him again.
When he reconnects, he tells you how busy he is with work, hobbies, etc. Men who are serious about you don't leave gaps in spending time with you. They want to be with you and get to know you better, so this is a big red flag.
4. His profile is still active on dating apps
DimaBerlin / Shutterstock
If you've been seeing a guy for more than a couple of weeks, you've spent the night together, but his profile is still up, that tells you he's not thinking about getting serious. Instead, he's keeping his options open while dating you.
You might not be the right woman for him long-term, but you are good for a temporary situation. It could also mean he doesn't want anything serious and prefers to date around.
It doesn't automatically mean he's actively trying to cut you off, but it does warrant a conversation about your relationship's status and expectations. Research suggests this behavior can lead to feelings of insecurity and mistrust in the relationship.
5. He doesn't like labels
SynthEx / Shutterstock
He's sweet, thoughtful, funny, and you adore him. But he says he doesn't like "labels" like girlfriend or relationship. Maybe he says something like, "Why make things formal?" or "Can't we just enjoy being together?"
If you hear similar comments from your man, that's another red flag waving. He's not serious and has no plans to become attached. When a man won't "claim" you as his with the girlfriend label, he's still looking or holding back for some reason.
6. He likes to hang out rather than go on dates
Yuri A / Shutterstock
This is a classic sign of being in a casual relationship. When a guy wants to hang out, he's not making much of an effort to impress you or win you over.
He might think you're crazy about him, so he can just coast. Or he's just happy to be with a nice woman like you who does so much for him, while he's in between relationships.
It's also possible he can't get caught being seen with you because he already has a woman in his life. Either way, this man isn't likely to take this to the next level. If you want lasting love, he's not the one.
A preference for casual hanging out over traditional dating might indicate emotional unavailability, one study offered. Research has shown that many relationships, for both heterosexual and homosexual couples, begin as friendships before transitioning into romantic partnerships.
7. He hasn't discussed exclusivity
Yuri A / Shutterstock
Many women won't be physical with a guy unless they agree to be exclusive first. It's a good idea for many reasons. However, not every woman has the courage to address this directly, so they hope the guy will bring it up.
Some men will suggest taking down your profiles and becoming exclusive, which is wonderful. But if you're dating a man who hasn't said a word, even though you've been spending the night for weeks now, that's not a good sign. Muster your courage and ask for exclusivity to find out where you stand.
8. He keeps talking about his ex
Perfect Wave / Shutterstock
Many people look for someone new to help them get over a breakup as their preferred method of healing. You might be the perfect distraction to get him through this rough patch with your great sense of humor and upbeat personality.
You'll know this is true if he keeps bringing her up and talking about the situation. You don't want to be his therapist or that soft shoulder to cry on — it's not your job.
Let him go so you can find a man who's ready for love with a wonderful woman like you. If this behavior is a recurring pattern in the person's relationships, it could indicate a deeper issue with emotional regulation or attachment style. Recent research has found that in some cases, the individual might want the assurance of knowing someone still desires them, even if they don't reciprocate the feelings.
9. He says he doesn't want anything serious
Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock
When you met this fabulous man, he said he wasn't looking for a relationship or anything serious. Then he told you he was willing to see how things go. That's a little bit of double talk.
Believe it or not, he was being honest and put you on notice that he wants to be casual. This is his way of setting those expectations.
Many women are optimistic, so they choose to ignore the first part and focus instead on seeing what happens.
This is the one time to pay attention to a man's words. If he says anything to push you away when you first meet, believe him and move on.
Dating with this more conscious approach will help you avoid men who aren't looking for lasting love. You'll also be able to recognize them more quickly, so you can free yourself up for the right guy.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours and the host of the popular metaphysical podcast Breathe Love & Magic. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.
