The Science Of Seduction: Women With These 3 Soft Skills Often Get A Man To Commit ASAP
Ekaterina Byuksel | Shutterstock I recently got together with a friend from high school. She found me on Facebook; we chatted, and then decided to have lunch. Her fiancé, Matt, joined us for part of our reunion lunch, and I learned something very interesting from him that I want to share with all of you.
What he had to say about what men want in relationships, and how to get a guy to commit fast, really stuck with me. It all started when I explained what I do for work. Matt got quite a kick out of the idea of me being a dating coach. He then shared with me what he feels all men need from the women they are with. It was an eye-opener, and yet it made complete sense to me.
Women with these soft skills often get a man to commit fast:
1. They appreciate the unique traits he brings to the table
Everyone wants to know that their partner is grateful for them and shows it. One University of Georgia study found that saying "thank you" in a relationship and expressing gratitude will help it last.
2. Women like this acknowledge what a hard worker he is
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Let your man know that you see all the hard work he's doing, and how proud you are of him. Acknowledge his feelings and emotions as well, as research tells us this can build trust.
3. Seductive women don't withhold affection as a form of petty punishment
Being able to hug and hold someone is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Showing physical affection in a relationship is linked to higher levels of satisfaction, one study found.
I think there is a tremendous amount of truth to this. Have you ever noticed that some men crave praise? If a man does something you like and you want to see more of that behavior, praise him for it! The first two A's, appreciation and acknowledgment, are forms of praise, right?
Now, the definition of affection is loosely connected to intimacy, I'm quite sure. But it can also be an expression of love, from a good hug to a romp in between the sheets. The desire for human touch is a basic need. We all need it; from hugs to kisses to more.
So, I'm wondering: Do you appreciate men? Do you acknowledge them? Do you share your affection with them? A lot of what I have read about understanding men insists that "men are easy" and "women are complicated." I think that's true.
But easy doesn't always mean obvious. And getting a man to commit is far from simple.
The biggest problem for women in understanding men is that most of us use our way of thinking to decipher a man's actions. But this leads down a path of interpretation that is often far from the truth. You see, women tend to measure a man's actions against the benchmark of what they or their girlfriends would do.
When you think about it this way, you can see the error in this logic. Not everyone thinks the same. That's why understanding men can seem so difficult. Instead, it can help a lot to listen to what men say and don't say.
For example, most men who aren't interested in a relationship will likely tell you that straight out. However, women tend to believe this won't be true for them. "When he gets to know me, things will be different, and he'll want to be in a relationship with me."
This is how women make understanding men complicated when it really can be easy. Simply believe what a man tells you, and take it for the truth.
A different example illustrates the meaning of a lack of communication. Don't think you are in an exclusive relationship unless a man tells you he wants that.
I advise my dating coaching clients to think the guy they are dating is likely seeing other women until he tells them otherwise. Just expect this to be true, and you can make understanding men so much easier.
To motivate a man to want to be in a relationship with you, try meeting these three needs. Let him know why you appreciate him, acknowledge him for what he does, and express your affection for him at whatever level feels right, depending on how long you've been seeing each other.
If you do this, you will be light years ahead of other women, since most do not do this. And when he feels good about choosing you and being with you, he will be more likely to make the commitment you want.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.
