10 Relationships That Feel Intoxicating At First — But Almost Always Implode When Things Get Serious
Ernest Tarasov | Unsplash Is it ever possible to start a relationship in which partners will be able to live happily until old age? It’s difficult to predict the future. But the chances of success are higher if two people want to be together, invest emotionally, and recognize the signs of serious issues in time.
Hence, not all relationships with issues are doomed. So, are you ready to find out what increases the risk of a breakup and how to deal with stress in the case of failure? And what couples are doomed to break up? It's usually the relationships that feel electric in the beginning, but often implode when things start getting serious.
Here are 10 relationships that feel intoxicating at first, but almost always implode when things get serious:
1. Couples who don’t discuss financial matters
Romance alone will not get you far. If the partners aren’t aware of each other’s financial requests at the very beginning, it will play a cruel joke on them in the future. Therefore, it is necessary to negotiate beforehand on how to manage the family budget.
Who will be the main breadwinner? What are your career ambitions? Are you both ready to sacrifice your comfort if a crisis comes? Otherwise, there’s a risk of unpleasant surprises.
Couples often try to problem-solve, but the ongoing nature of financial stress means those issues keep resurfacing, creating a cycle of negativity that's harder to break than almost any other type of relationship conflict. Studies show that financial arguments are less related to income level and more about disagreements over how that income gets allocated, meaning even financially comfortable couples aren't immune.
2. Couples who fall in love with their illusions
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It is foolish to choose a partner relying solely on who they might become in the future. In the end, these are your guesses and dreams, and you will have to live with who they really are.
If you don’t like someone’s character, bad habits, and social circle, you will not be able to change them. Hence, you will have to be able to accept them with all their shortcomings. However, if you are not ready, then do not be fooled. A breakup is inevitable.
Falling in love with who someone could be rather than who they actually are is one of the most common and costly relationship traps out there. As couples therapists, Dr. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt write, "Idealizing a figment of our imagination rather than living with and accepting the real flesh and blood person who is our partner sets us up for failure."
3. Couples who like to keep score
There are couples like this. No one is willing to give up their wishes, so the partners play a game called “you give me something, and then I will give you something in return”. True love does not tolerate competition — you either mutually invest or you drown each other.
4. Couples who put one partner on a pedestal
In such a relationship, one partner is selfish and requires unquestioning veneration and adoration. First, another partner indulges them and takes care of them, almost wears on their hand until the demands of the “star” increase many times, and the person does not receive anything in return.
One day, the admirer gives up and stops being a donor, because they are also alive and need love. There needs to be a balance of energy and support if you don’t want your relationship to be doomed.
As couples therapist Nancy Carbone explains, "The narcissist wrongly believes their partner causes them to feel inadequate or empty, so they project their feelings onto their partner and find things wrong with them." The admirer who once happily gave everything eventually runs empty, and no amount of love can fill a partner who was never able to give it back.
5. Couples who position one partner as the intellectual authority
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Even if the partners have been brought together by true love, sooner or later, the difference in intellectual levels will manifest. People who are at different evolutionary stages cannot be together.
If one seeks to improve oneself and develop their knowledge, while another one doesn’t need anything from life, the relationship will fail. Sooner or later, one of them will tire of carrying dead weight, and the second one will not be able to rise above their station.
6. Couples with conflicting interests
Relationships aren’t only about love. People need to have similar interests and goals for the relationship to flourish. If a woman wants to have children, but a man doesn’t.
If one of them wants to devote themselves to saving the world, while another one cares for nothing but themselves, then such a relationship will not work out, no matter how the two are deceiving themselves. Lifestyles and ideals must coincide; otherwise, they will kill each other.
Research has consistently found that couples score higher in relationship quality and stability when both partners are aligned on life goals, values, and personal priorities. Significant differences in those areas, like one partner wanting children while the other doesn't, can create incompatibilities that are very difficult to resolve over time.
7. Couples with a big age difference
At first, in such a relationship, everything goes perfectly. For example, a young lady's heart loves the reliability and stability of a mature partner. However, they will hardly be together to old age, since their interests and needs differ too much.
At some point, the young partner may want to have kids, devote themselves to self-realization, and feel passion, while the second one, being in their 50s, quickly loses interest in everything and tires themselves of the frenetic pace. Then, their future can be doomed.
8. Couples who both insist on being in charge
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This type of relationship is about strength, purposefulness, and a strong-willed character. They are similar, and this cannot inspire. However, a relationship is the union of a leader and a follower, or of two easygoing partners willing to share obligations.
Leaders are not capable of giving in, because they want to be first and foremost in everything. And if there are two bosses, there can be a power struggle, which, in turn, can result in a breakup.
Two strong, driven people can be wildly attracted to each other, but actually building a life together is a different story. As relationship coach James Allen Hanrahan writes, "The biggest challenge Alpha/Alpha relationships face is deciding who is going to lead. For an Alpha guy, there can be only one answer to this question, and the answer is him."
9. Couples who are emotionally unstable
When one of the partners plays the role of a caring parent, sooner or later, they will become exhausted — especially if they get nothing in return. A person gets tired of being forgiving and all-loving when their efforts are sabotaged and criticized; they also have the right to love! Therefore, they leave and go where they will be valued, taken care of, and where they will always be welcomed.
10. Couples who are together mostly out of convenience
If the partners have nothing in common except physical proximity, then their relationship is doomed to fail. In any relationship, you also need to talk, do household chores, and be there for each other in times of grief and joy. And what if there are health problems, financial problems, or personal crises?
You cannot build a strong and healthy relationship if it’s only based on the physical. However, you can find an exception to each of these cases. A breakup is the last resort, and most couples aren’t doomed to end up like that.
According to Sternberg's triangular theory of love, passion is the component most prominent in the early stages of a relationship. Research confirms that long-term relationship health depends on all three components working together. Passion matters, but so do intimacy and commitment, and without those two, physical chemistry alone isn't enough to hold things together.
Many problems between partners can and should be worked on and solved. But, only if both partners want it. However, if the breakup is inevitable, it’s necessary to do your best to get over it with minimal losses. Moreover, if you haven’t met your beloved one yet, then you should visit godatenow.com. There, you will be able to find someone special.
Unwritten publishes content on relationships, love, mental health, wellness, and more.
