11 Rare Signs You'll Only Relate To If You're With The Right Person
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock Some people spend their whole lives looking for "the one." They assess potential partners for chemistry and compatibility, checking personality traits off their list and crossing out people whose life goals don't align with their own. It's well-established that good relationships take work, yet finding the right relationship takes focus and dedication, too.
The signs you picked the right person to settle down with might not be obvious at first, so it might be tempting to jump into a relationship with someone who only checks some of your boxes. But waiting for the person who fully fits what you want in a partner is worth the wait. And the rare signs you'll only relate to if you're with the right person will reveal themselves if you pay close attention. Because all relationships change over time, but having a solid foundation to build upon is a valuable approach to sharing your life with someone.
Here are 11 rare signs you'll only relate to if you're with the right person
1. You share comfortable silences
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The urge to fill empty space with conversation can be strong, especially when you're first getting to know someone. But enjoying each other's quiet company shows that you feel a sense of safety and ease in your relationship.
As psychologist Helene Brenner and therapist Larry Letich pointed out, "Emotional safety doesn’t mean bubble-wrapping yourself or others so that nobody ever feels hurt or even uncomfortable. Emotional safety is something very different, and fundamentally rather simple. It’s the visceral feeling — that is, a feeling that you feel physically, in your body — that with this person or these people or in this place, you don’t have to feel scared to be really you."
When you feel comfortable simply sitting in silence, not needing to fill the quiet space with noise, it's one of the rare signs you'll only relate to if you're with the right person. Spending quality time together without talking shows that you don't feel a need to impress them; rather, you can just be yourself with them.
2. You don't have to manage their feelings
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When you've picked the right person to settle down with, you don't have to manage their feelings. They have high enough emotional intelligence to know that their emotions aren't your responsibility. They know how to emotionally regulate themselves and show up to conflict in a calm way, ready and willing to talk.
Even though there's no implicit pressure to be their emotional caretaker, you still work to emotionally validate each other. Psychologist Guy Winch described the act of emotional validation as "conveying that we get what the other person is feeling and why they're feeling it." He noted that emotionally validating your partner, even when you disagree, is crucial for a functioning relationship.
As Winch explained, emotionally validating your partner requires having "a clear understanding of what their feelings are by giving them the space and time to express themselves, and by giving ourselves the space and time to understand their emotional experience by asking for clarifications and elaborations or posing open-ended questions to get more information."
3. You can show them your weird side
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Perhaps one of the most important signs you're with the right person is having the ability to be your true, wacky self with them. When you're with the right person, you don't hide your quirks or habits, because you feel totally comfortable revealing who you really are.
In an unhealthy relationship, people tend to mask their true selves, out of fear that they won't be fully accepted. As dating and relationship coach Janet Ong Zimmerman explained, "If you act and behave in a certain way so your partner will like or love you more, you have entered a subservient relationship, not an authentically healthy one... Having the love you want and deserve takes courage."
Sharing your stranger side can enhance the intimacy in your relationship, as it lets you be seen and gives your partner permission to be their most authentic self as well. So, drink pickle juice straight from the jar. Sing romantic ballads to your dog. Do all the strange things you want, knowing that your partner loves you just as you are.
4. They care about your family
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If your partner shows that they care about your family, it's one of the signs you're with the right person. Merging families is one part of entering a relationship that often isn't openly discussed. The way your partner interacts with your family can make or break your relationship.
A partner who ignores your siblings or doesn't treat your parents with respect is essentially showing how they'll treat you down the road. But if your partner is the right person, they'll pay attention to your family dynamics and see where they fit in.
They'll show interest in getting to know your family members and creating relationships with them, apart from you. They'll care about your family because they're important to you, which shows just how considerate and connected they are.
5. You laugh together
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Relationships take work, yet they should also be filled with moments of levity and laughter. A study from the University of California, Berkeley tracked 150 married couples for 25 years, marking their emotional interactions. The researchers found that as couples grew older, they displayed more tenderness and humor towards each other.
The study showed that negative behaviors, like being critical and defensive, decreased over time, while positive behaviors, like affection and humor, increased. The findings go against long-held theories that emotions deteriorate with age, highlighting that long-term married couples can expect an emotionally positive trajectory as they grow old together.
While arguments might not disappear completely, when you can laugh with your partner about anything, it's yet another of the rare signs you'll only relate to if you're with the right person. You accept each other wholeheartedly, and the more you laugh together, the stronger your relationship will become.
6. You feel like you're on the same team
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While getting frustrated with each other is fairly inevitable in a relationship, you and your partner should feel like teammates, not adversaries. When you argue, the point isn't to win, but rather, to come to an agreement that benefits both of you.
Psychologist Dr. John Gottman believes that strong relationships rest on the ability to compromise. He maintains that a good compromise relies on people exploring their values and deciding what their core needs are and where they can be more flexible. He sees core needs as something a person "must have" in a relationship, as opposed to something that "would be nice to have."
Throughout his research, Dr. Gottman found that 69% of what couples fight about is unsolvable, as those problems stem from differences in needs, personality, and the way people were raised. Ultimately, compromising isn't about abandoning what's most important to you — it's about building a sense of safety between two people, so they can share their perspectives and hear where the other is coming from.
7. You can have hard conversations
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Conflict is a big part of intimacy. Because while disagreements are an entirely normal part of a relationship, what matters most is how you approach them.
Relationship and wellness coach Ann Papayoti offered guidance on how couples can have hard conversations without hurting each other. She shared that one reason why a conversation feels hard is because "you're not discussing the real or larger issue. Are you choosing the 'thing' that happened this time rather than 'the dance' that happens every time?"
She further explained, "If the dance is happening, then it's possible this pattern is actually affecting your thoughts, feelings, and interactions with others, and that is what you need to talk about."
Papayoti recommended grounding yourself, staying open-minded, and asking questions for clarification. If you start the conversation from "a posture of positivity, a tone of compassion, and an intention of sincerity, you can turn a perceived difficulty into an opportunity to understand better and grow your relationships."
8. Your relationship has a personality of its own
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No two relationships are the same, which is why it's so harmful to compare what you have to anyone else's partnership. But if you take the time to figure out what makes your partner feel happy and you incorporate those moments of joy into your life, and they do the same for you, it's one of the very rare signs you'll only relate to if you're with the right person.
You and your partner have inside jokes about silly little things, the kinds of jokes that make you laugh no matter what kind of mood you're in. And as your relationship grows deeper, you establish traditions just for the two of you that make your connection feel even more powerful.
As clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten explained, "Use endearments, have special jokes together, reminisce about special memories in the relationship, talk about what you thought about her when you first met, or when you first got married, or last week when she looked hot, talk about plans together (both the immediate future and decades from now), talk about how she makes you feel, what you appreciate that she did that day."
9. They don't resent you for spending time on your own
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One of the biggest signs you're with the right person is that they don't resent you for spending time away from them. They actually encourage you to pursue what you're passionate about, even if it's not an interest they share.
They don't complain that you're not paying enough attention to them when you're busy crocheting or spending time with friends. Instead, they're happy that you're happy. They know that spending time apart helps you grow as individuals, which allows your relationship to bloom.
10. They love the parts of you that you love about yourself
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If your partner loves the freckles on your cheekbone shaped like a constellation, your obsession with boybands from the 2000s, or your dark sense of humor and the way you point out every bird you see, these are all huge signs you're with the right person.
But they also love the parts of you that you, yourself have a hard time reckoning with. It's not always easy to put the concepts of self-compassion into practice, but having a partner who accepts you completely can help guide you down the path of loving yourself more deeply.
As research from the University of Texas at Austin found, "practicing self-compassion not only makes individuals healthier and happier but also is a good predictor of healthy romantic relationships." So, while there's no such thing as a perfect partnership, nor a perfect person, you'll know that you've found the one for you when they fit into your life and make it feel fuller than you knew was possible.
11. They're your best friend
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According to a 2025 study, it's actually quite rare for romantic partners to be best friends. Out of 900 participants in the study, only one-third of people reported their partner to be their friend, with about 14% saying their partner is their best friend.
This goes to show that if you're with the right person, it's such a rare occurrence to be their best friend that it only further proves you're in the right relationship. Of course, being with the right person doesn't necessarily mean they need to be your best friend, but when you have a bond that's this close, you can rest assured your relationship will flourish.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
