6 Questions To Ask Your Partner At The Start Of Your Relationship

Use these questions to really get to know your partner better!

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So, you're in a new relationship and things are looking up for you. You're getting to know your person better and you truly feel like this could be the one.

But, securing the right connection can be tricky without asking the right kinds of questions.

Luckily, therapist Jeff Guenther is here to help us by breaking down the six questions you need to ask at the start of your relationship if you want to secure your bond.

@therapyjeff 6 questions to ask your partner at the start of a relationship.#mentalhealth #therapy #relationshiptips #dating #datingadvice ♬ original sound - TherapyJeff

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6 Questions To Ask Your Partner At The Start Of Your Relationship

1. What counts as cheating?

When we think about strengthening our relationship, we avoid topics such as cheating because it's uncomfortable — and we'd rather not think about it.


But, how can you expect to secure your relationship if you aren't even on the same page as your partner?

It's easy to believe that you both can agree on what counts as cheating. However, you'd be surprised.

For some, flirting or going out with a coworker isn't considered cheating. For others, even having a friend of the opposite sex crosses the line.

Guenther urges us, "Get on the same page or this will come back to haunt you."

2. Are there certain things you mutually agree to not tell each other?

Have you talked to your partner about what should be off-limits? Have you talked about the information you should share? The reality is, that your partner might not need to know everything. In fact, they might prefer not knowing everything to protect their own inner peace.


Yet, this is why you should talk to your partner and get on the same page about what information should and shouldn't be shared.

And who knows? You might find that your partner might not want to know if your friends don't like them. Or you might find that they don't want to know if an ex texts you.

couple sitting on floor talking SeventyFour / Shutterstock


3. Are there things in a relationship that are just for us?

Is there a line drawn when it comes to sharing information about your relationship? And where exactly should the line be drawn?

From my experience, friends have mentioned their sex lives to me unprovoked. And unfortunately, most of the time, these friends probably didn't get their partner's consent beforehand.

And when we really think about it that's really messed up. After all, everyone is entitled to a little privacy, especially when it comes to their sex life.

So, ask your partner where should the line be drawn. And does the line change when it comes to certain people like family members?


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4. Is it important to know if I have dated or hooked up with any of my friends?

Now, this can be an awkward question, especially if it's about you. Past relationships are usually a touchy subject for most people.

And let's be real, your partner might not want to hear about your previous "adventures". However, knowing about these past hookups can help your partner be better prepared if they ever were to run into that person.

5. How do you feel about staying in touch with an ex?

Some of you reading this might be rolling your eyes. You're probably thinking this is off-limits and shouldn't even be brought up.


However, many people keep in contact with their ex for reasons unknown. But, this is why it's best to know whether this is a boundary that needs to be set that way you can avoid fights and misunderstandings.

6. How do you feel about me having close relationships with people of the sex I'm attracted to?

I've heard different opinions from friends on this topic. Some are not okay with their partners having friends of the sex they're attracted to, while others don't mind.

This is why chatting with your partner about these things and getting on the same page becomes crucial if you want to be a united team.


I get it, some of these questions might feel like a stretch. Talking about the past or setting boundaries can be uncomfortable for some.

However, once you tackle these topics and know where you stand, your relationship will become more smooth sailing from then on.

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Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.