11 Qualities Of A Good Man That Set Him Apart From Average Guys

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When it comes to finding true love, if you want the type of man who's capable of commitment in healthy relationships, you want to be sure he's a genuinely good person who possesses certain personality traits that match well with your needs and your own definition of a good man.

If you're still uncertain if the man you love or are interested in is a good guy, through and through, pay attention, because these traits indicate that he's a great man to marry.

Here are 11 qualities of a good man that set him apart from average guys.

1. He's mature

You can quickly determine a guy’s emotional maturity by observing how he reacts to situations and how he treats the people around him.

For example, when out at a restaurant, when the server takes a bit longer than you'd hope to get to your table, how does he react? Does he take it in his stride, or does he lose his temper? Does he shout at the server when an order gets mixed up, or does he wait patiently and respond with kindness?

Even if he's on his best behavior, it's hard for anyone to hide long-standing habits. Watch him keenly enough and you will be able to determine whether you are on the right path and if he's a genuinely good man.



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2. He has a purpose

Every man needs a purpose. Usually, men don’t find their purpose through a relationship or family. A relationship can fuel his purpose as he strives to provide for his friends and family, but it is not the source of his purpose.

That may be hard for women to hear, but it’s true. A man usually finds his purpose in his work and how he contributes to the world around him.

Look for his purpose early in the relationship in how he speaks about his career. Is he passionate about what he does? Does he have goals? Is he excited about going to work?

This doesn’t mean that he has to be an entrepreneur or six-figure man. You can work a 9-5 and still be passionate about what you do and the difference you are making for others. A man who has a purpose all his own is a man that can be part of a happy relationship with you.

3. He's friendly

You can learn much about a man's personality traits from the quality of his friendships and the quality of the men he spends time with. Are his friends mature? Do they share your values and also show the qualities of being good men? Does he maintain friendships over the years?

An important trait in a man is that he surrounds himself with good people. Consider it a major red flag if his friends aren't people that you, yourself, would hang around. After all, being able to feel safe is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

qualities of a good manPhoto: William Fortunato / Pexels

4. He's emotionally available

Many men remain emotionally unavailable because they overlap their relationships. "Single" does not always mean available.

Pay attention to see if he's holding ties with his ex, or if he's so consumed with work that he has no room for someone else. If either is true, he will eventually hurt you, because he's not ready for a long-term relationship and isn't boyfriend material.

You want to find a man who is emotionally available, as this indicates he has the capacity to be open, honest, and trustworthy with himself and his romantic partner. And those are essential to make a relationship work long-term.

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5. He's direct

Many guys think that if they approach dating with a flippant sort of attitude, women will suddenly fall in love with them. But a relationship with a man who plays games will only end in tears.

A quality man should be able to look straight into your eyes and express himself. Anything less than that and it shows he's not a good communicator, and you should not settle for that.

6. He's kind

Men who are ready for healthy relationships tend to be past a few different phases of their lives already. Most notably, their "fun and adventure" phase and their "get paid" phase.

Kindness comes after this. It demonstrates that his life isn’t all about him, which is especially important when it comes to starting a family. Of all the qualities in a man that indicate he's a good person, consider a man who is kind to be the most important.

qualities of a good manPhoto: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels

7. He's honest

Men don’t always do the right thing, or even know what the right thing is. But as long as a guy is being honest about it, you can deal with him and try to level with him in an emotionally intelligent way.

If he's hiding something, it can ruin trust and have a negative impact on his life and the people around him. But if he has this essential quality of a good man, rest assured that if he's open and truthful, he's a keeper.

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8. He has integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. In practice, a man who has integrity is a man of his word. He keeps his promises and shows you his intention through his actions. He doesn’t just talk the talk, he walks the walk.

You can trust a man with integrity to follow through and show up in your relationship in a positive way. His moral compass rules his choices and he will always choose to do the right thing in his life and by you.

Look for integrity in the small things when you first meet a man. Does he call when he says he will? Is he late to dates? Does he show integrity in his work? If he can’t show integrity with the little things, he will have a hard time showing integrity when it really matters.



9. He's not afraid of commitment

When most women hear commitment, they are thinking about a committed and monogamous relationship. That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to commitment, though.

Commitment fuels integrity and purpose. You must be committed to growing, learning, and having the tools in place to live in your purpose. If you are not committed to living your purpose or to having integrity, you can’t possibly be committed and have the ability to be in a relationship.

Many men will say they are ready to commit, but once they are in a relationship, they mistake feeling comfortable for showing up everyday for their partner. But a man who doesn't show up isn't a man with long-term potential.

10. He perseveres

Perseverance is a key quality to look for because life isn’t always kind to you, and you want to know that when things get real, your man can persevere.

How does he deal with adversity and challenges in his life? When he’s knocked down, does he get back up? Does he recommit to his purpose when he fails? Or does he let the bad times and his fears knock him down for good?

Perseverance is what will keep him going and recommitting to and working on your relationship through the hard times.

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11. He has a great sense of humor

It's been proven that women find funny men more attractive. But it turns out that humor isn't just an indicator of attractiveness, but also of the quality of a man.

In fact, studies have shown that 81% of women consider a sense of humor the most important trait in a romantic partner. And that makes sense, considering that someone with a sense of humor likely has higher self-esteem, a more positive outlook on life, and intelligence.



How can you be sure he has all the qualities of a good man?

Western culture has evolved in ways that have made finding a high-quality man — that is, one who possesses not only basic human traits like good manners, empathy, and respect — tough.

As explained by columnist Margaret Wente in "The Globe and Mail":

"In a nutshell, over the past few decades, the traditional relationship exchange has broken down. It used to be that men and women each had something the other really needed. Men needed access to sex. Women needed access to resources. Men couldn't get steady access to sex unless they had resources to offer, so they worked hard for them. The partnership between men and women was a grand bargain that (usually) left both sides better off...

Sexual liberation is a fabulous thing — in some ways. But it can also turn men into louts, because women don't expect much in return for access... [So a] lot of women seem to have their act together these days. But a lot of men don't."

But just because our culture has changed, that doesn’t mean there really are no good men around at all.

There's no such thing as the perfect guy — but that doesn't mean you can't find the guy that's perfect for you.

qualities of a good manPhoto: Anna Tarazevich / Pexels

That's not to say it will be easy. Finding that man who is a combination of best friend, lover, and partner — and who doesn't present any of your deal breakers — may just be one of the hardest things in the world.

Many women want to cut the chase. Unfortunately, the quest for a good guy takes a lot of effort, planning, and prospecting. The reward is almost never immediate, but if you are consistent and clear, you will meet a fantastic guy worthy of your affection!

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Randy Skilton is a dating educator and relationship coach with an Advanced Diploma in Social Science and a Graduate Diploma in Technology Education. His work has appeared on Psych Central, Lifehack, and, among others, where he educates others on enhancing the quality of their relationships and life.