You Can Tell A Woman Has Never Been Truly Loved By 9 Sad Phrases She Uses When Talking About Men
cottonbro studio | Pexels Love is at the center of our lives. Healthy relationships and community spark joy.
However, when we aren’t treated right by partners or never receive the kind of love we deserve, it dulls our worlds in so many ways. In fact, you can usually tell a woman has never been truly loved by the sad phrases she uses when talking about men. She’s so used to toxic behavior that she’s started expecting it.
A woman who has never been truly loved uses these sad phrases when talking about men:
1. ‘You can’t trust them’
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People with relationship and childhood trauma often develop distrust in their adult lives. Whether it’s spreading broad generalizations about men, like “you can’t trust them,” or acting in ways that reveal they don’t trust themselves, they stop leaning into healthy commitment.
Women who’ve never been loved in healthy ways can’t rely on or appreciate other people, because they’re so used to being neglected and disappointed. They start to expect the worst, and sometimes, subconsciously seek it out, because they don’t know any better.
2. ‘I can’t expect much’
When every interaction, conversation, or relationship you’ve had with someone reaffirms the same belief, it’s hard not to assume that it’s the norm. For example, a woman who’s only been mistreated by romantic partners may start to have all kinds of misguided beliefs about love, and even her own self-worth.
That’s where “I can’t expect much” comes from. Not only do these women believe men are only capable of offering the bare minimum, because that’s all they’ve received, but they also don’t feel worthy of the healthy love they hear about.
3. ‘All men are the same’
Many people who mistrust a group make broad generalizations to cope. Whether it’s frustrations with toxic men in relationships or assumptions about someone at work, they cling to generalizations that make sense of their experience. “All men are the same,” while controversial, is something these women might say when they’ve been taught to expect toxicity.
All the evidence they have, whether it’s through relationships or childhood trauma, points to this claim, even if they haven’t seen the gaps.
4. ‘Men aren’t good at that’
Strong-willed, grounded women don’t make excuses for the men in their lives. They might accept the presence of gender norms as an influence around the men in their lives, but they don’t make excuses because of stereotypes.
“Men aren’t good at that” and “you shouldn’t expect him to do that” are usually phrases that less secure women, reliant on external validation, use to excuse men’s behavior. Maybe they’ve been gaslit into tolerating this kind of toxic behavior, or maybe they truly believe that love comes from tolerating toxicity.
5. ‘I can fix him’
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In most cases, a woman’s need to fix a partner comes from deep childhood wounds. Their self-worth and importance stem from needing to feel important or useful at home with their parents.
Of course, this kind of self-worth struggle could also come from toxic relationships with men in their lives. They feel better about themselves when they can prove their usefulness to someone else, even if it puts their life and well-being at stake.
6. ‘He’s probably just busy’
If someone doesn’t respond to us, or make an effort, it means they don’t want to talk. While there are all kinds of exceptions to that rule, in most toxic relationships, it’s true. If they’re not responding to texts, hiding their phone, or ghosting unexpectedly, they probably don’t really care about you or the relationship all that much.
Women who’ve never been taught about healthy love or experienced it with a healthy man make excuses. They say sad things like “he’s probably just busy,” instead of protecting their boundaries, because they’ve only been told that their needs don’t matter.
7. ‘I’m lucky to have anyone’
Toxic relationships can seriously chip away at and damage someone’s self-worth. The more they stick around, the worse their own relationship with themselves becomes. Whether it’s being taught the toxic belief that they’re not worthy of love or consistently setting their own needs aside for other people, they’re stuck in a cycle of excusing behavior at their own expense.
“I’m lucky to have anyone” is just one example of a woman who’s never been treated right and is coping with a damaged self-worth from toxic relationships. They think they’re not deserving of healthy love, or don’t believe it exists, so they settle for the absolute bare minimum.
8. ‘He used to be so great’
It’s comforting to hold onto someone’s potential when they’re acting poorly, but it’s not healthy. Especially for women who’ve only ever been treated poorly and don’t have the perspective of healthy love to compare their relationships with, being with a toxic man can prompt all kinds of excuses.
You can tell they’re holding onto potential for comfort, but in the long-run, it’s only at their own expense.
9. ‘At least he doesn’t…’
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Even if it’s framed as optimism, these kinds of excuses for toxic men in bad relationships aren’t doing anyone any favors. They might be letting a bad man off the hook, but they’re also a sign of a woman who’s probably not being loved right.
If someone’s only had terrible experiences and relationships with men, of course, they’re going to compare them. The bad ones are better than the terrible ones. The terrible ones are better than the severely toxic ones. While it’s easy to tolerate someone that’s not so bad, women who can appreciate singlehood or being alone are better off.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
