If A Person Has These 5 Low-Quality Habits, That’s Your Sign To Move On
Erik Mclean | Unsplash You sit alone and weigh the pros and cons of moving on from someone, spend hours texting and venting with your people about your partner's low-quality habits that make you wonder if you should stay or go. You contemplate like the statue of The Thinker and ponder life's biggest question in the hope that the answer will magically implant itself in your brain.
Leaping into the decision of being single versus staying together, a study suggested it's crucial to know when to break up and when to stay. If you find that these low-quality behaviors have become habits in your partner, grab your stuff and get out of there. You are worthy of beautiful love, and staying behind will eventually suck the life out of you.
If a person has these 5 low-quality habits, that’s your sign to move on:
1. They don't treat you well
A great book and a movie — and a strong reason to get out. How do you know? By looking at the way he treats you.
- Is he the guy who is always there during your time of need and not just the fun times?
- Does he treat you like the beautiful woman you are and show the world that he cares for you?
- Does he do the little things that make your life better?
If it's been a while and he considers you and him as "just casual", then you gotta go. Unless that's what you want, too. Intuitive coach Ronnie Ann Ryan suggested, "The good news is. You are freed up to find a person who wants what you want — a lasting, loving relationship. Don't accept crumbs when you want the real thing. Move on today and go find the right one for you. Moving on is hard to do, but necessary for your mental health."
2. They play games
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These are such fun guys to deal with. They take you out and act as if they adore you, and then don’t communicate with you for several days. When he sees you again, he acts like nothing is wrong. Because you happen to be in front of him, he will lead you on with words like, "We should get together again, or I'll meet up with you tomorrow night." You anxiously wait as this happens time and time again, and you have no idea what to think. He's just having fun with you — and everyone else.
But he's so attractive; he's so alluring. Sure, he is, but is this how you want to spend your time? Maybe someday he will grow up, but for now, it's over. Besides, you'll probably find your man long before he straightens up — if he ever does. Players play, so it's time to get away.
3. They never admit you're dating
Oh, this guy. I've met him — and dated him too. You've hung out more than a few times. You've probably been intimate together, too. You've had fun with him, the intimacy was good, and you spent time with a few of his friends and even met a few family members.
However, he blows off any sign of commitment. It's been months, and what do you get back from him? "She's cool. She's a nice girl. I'm not ready." Oh, he wants you around. After all, he needs you in bed at his leisure, and he knows you'll be there to satisfy him on his terms. Think of Annie and Ted from the movie Bridesmaids. Ted says, "You know it’s getting really late. You should probably go. I’m gonna miss you so much." Then he rolls over to fall asleep.
How about this? When he is ready, he can take his chances and contact you. You'll already be out there living a great life and knowing you're worthy of a man, not only admitting he's your boyfriend but clamoring to be your boyfriend.
4. They break up with you but still want the benefits
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You had a wonderful relationship for a long time. One day, he destroys your soul, stating he needs time to himself to focus on his career, to grow up, to help his family, to clean his car out. The list goes on and on.
Let me be clear. When a man is in love with you, he will not break up with you over those things. He cannot imagine being without you, especially during the tough times. He wants and needs your support, and you are never a bother to him or have ever held him back from doing anything.
What he does want is to hang out and sleep with you every once in a while. This is confusing because you're not sure if he still really loves you and wants to get back together or not. However, eventually, you will know the answer because he continues to keep you on the hook. Don't waste your time. I know you loved each other at one point, and this is a hard one, but it's over, my friend.
5. They don't want the same things you do
You want kids, and he doesn't. He's adamant about living on the West Coast, and you're a Jersey girl who will never move very far from family. He wants to live in a tent on the ocean, and you want the white picket fence. Before cutting it off with him, always see if there is a happy medium first. Maybe you live in one place and visit the other several times a year. You may even decide that one child will work for you.
Relationship expert Dr. Margaret Paul explained, "Resolution occurs when you develop a joint resolution, and neither of you feels you are compromising yourself or your integrity. Neither of you is giving in to control the other. Both of you are happy with the resolution. In fact, when you explore with the intent to learn, neither of you may feel that the resolution is a compromise."
If these issues are not resolvable, then you both owe it to yourselves to find the one who matches your vision of the future. It's a tough lesson, but love alone is just not enough.
Lori Peters is a dating coach, radio show host, writer, and speaker on happiness and well-being. Her passion is to help others create more happiness in their loving relationships.
