People Who Fall For All The Wrong People Almost Always Make These 3 Mistakes
Unchecked infatuation leads people away from real love.
Ceejay Talam | Canva Infatuation can happen when you idealize a person or when you put them on a pedestal. You believe them to be untouchable. You're listening, but you're not really hearing. All you're thinking about is how beautiful they are, how much you want them, and how much you want to see them.
It becomes dangerous because when you get that intoxicating feeling about someone, you miss red flags or warning signs that things are not as they seem. The signs of infatuation can include seeing and expecting perfection, dropping everything for them, and becoming overly jealous and possessive.
There are a few steps to take when you meet someone who's intoxicating and you start to become infatuated with them. You can't do anything to prevent the feeling of intoxication; it's a natural human reaction. But what you can do is control your response to it. Enjoy it because it's a beautiful feeling, but stay alert and ready.
People who fall for all the wrong people almost always make three common mistakes
1. They believe potential partners unconditionally
In your early interactions with this person, write down all the things they say they want to do with you. Write down all the promises they make and, over the next 30-60 days, see if the person actually follows through on what they say.
It's so important because if someone follows through on what they say, that feeling of intoxication you have is validated. It shows they're serious in their intent, and you're a little safer surrendering to those feelings you're having.
2. They trust chemistry too much
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Write down exactly how you want to feel in a relationship. This is so important for your mental health.
Write down what you want to feel — emotionally, physically, and intellectually. Then ask yourself if this person makes you feel what you need to, or are you just in an intoxicated trance?
- Do they listen to you the way you need?
- Do they love you the way you need?
- Do they connect with you as deeply as you want?
- Is the intimacy giving you what you need? \Does this person make you feel comfortable?
3. They think they know someone well before they truly do
Remember, at the start of a relationship, this person will be on their best behavior. They will be doing their best to impress you, and it's only going to go downhill from there.
The next time you're infatuated with someone, take a moment to get sober and have some clarity. Get as sober as you can, because that's the only way you can unhook yourself from the love drug that's hitting your system. When you crave something so badly, you can't have clarity. If you've sobered up and don't feel like you still love this person, you have your answer.
My advice is always the same, and it's so important that you write everything down and understand what you really want. That way, when you meet this amazing person, you'll recognize them, and won't become seduced by the feelings of intoxication you have when you're first attracted to someone, regardless of whether they're suitable for you or not.
Infatuation can put you under a powerful spell, which limits your ability to think and reason properly. It can make you act recklessly and out of control.
The moment you start to sense those wonderful feelings rising through your body, don't run from them, and don't avoid them. Enjoy every sensation, but never forget to take a step back, stay in control, and make sensible choices.
David Wygant was an author, dating coach and lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post. His advice was featured on television, in newspapers, and in magazines across the world. His coaching career was rumored to be the inspiration for the movie Hitch.
