If You Can Manifest These 6 Things, You're Pretty Much Destined To Find Your Soulmate
Modern dating often leads people astray from true soul connections.
Oleksandr Khmelevskyi | Shutterstock Your heart has been broken and it's been a long recovery. Now, you want to find love, but you don't ever want to feel that pain again, so you search for something different. You cannot, however, find a deep soul connection by searching for the opposite of your past experience.
While it’s important to know what you do and don’t want in love, if your focus is to avoid the pain of the past, you’ll be unable to create the soul connection you desire. Currently, your subconscious is focused on avoiding cheaters (or whatever it was that caused your last relationship to end), which has kept you safe. Unfortunately, "not a cheater" or "not a liar" doesn’t allow you to manifest what you truly do desire.
In order to manifest a deep soul connection you’ll need a crystal clear vision of what you want to find. Practice these six things in order to know exactly what that is.
These six things can help you manifest your soulmate:
1.Dating forward, not backward
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Most people date backwards looking for a feeling to inform them it’s the right person. Unfortunately, your feelings are constantly changing, so using your feelings alone as a guide is not the best way to choose a life partner.
Letting your feelings of attraction and chemistry cloud your judgment, ignoring red flags, or excusing bad behavior will never bring you the soul connection you crave. Instead, look for what you want and then see if "sparks" are present or if they can develop.
Allow dating to be a process and practice slow love. Take your time getting to know each other before going exclusive, and don’t make any assumptions. Use dating as a tool to find your limiting beliefs and other hidden blocks to love.
According to psychologist Russell Hurlburt's research, between 30 and 50 percent of people regularly think to themselves in internal monologues. Listen to yours to better understand your true feelings about each person you date. At the end of each date, check in to see how you’re feeling and what you’re saying to yourself.
- Is it different with a man you’re attracted to vs. a man you don’t feel the same spark with?
- Are you able to be authentic with each one?
- Pay attention to the walk to the car after the date. How do you feel, and what’s your inner dialog after you’ve parted from him?
This is where you discover if there are any hidden beliefs or strategies that will keep you from the soul connection you desire. When you cultivate discernment, you can easily tell a person who is not a match from one who is.
2.Discovering your patterns in love
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Your positive and negative patterns in love show you what needs to change. Take an inventory of your relationship history. Notice similarities with the type of people you fall for, who generally pursues who, which one of you initiates the breakup, and is there a familiar dynamic that doesn’t feel good to you?
Ultimately, you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. So, if there’s a reason it’s not working out, it’s inside of you. Dating more people will not change this pattern. Yet, talking about the pattern will not change it either; talking about it will only reinforce it.
If you’re struggling to find a soul connection, there’s likely a hidden block keeping you from feeling it. This block must be removed, or you must find a way to move around it. In addition, in order to manifest your soulmate, you need to start envisioning healthier, more productive patterns in love.
3.Aiming for a true soul connection instead of settling
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You deserve to be with someone who gives you the feeling of being home. Your soulmate deserves someone who is as head over heels about them as they are about you.
Make sure you don’t settle for "should person”
- “I should marry him; he’s so in love with me.”
- “I should marry her; she'd be a great mother.”
- “I should marry him; he’s a faithful man.”
- “I should marry her; my friends and family adore her.”
- “I should marry him; he’s the best I’ve found.”
Way too many people are now divorced from the "should person.”
Settling when it comes to a life partner is a recipe for disaster. Of course, we understand why people do it. According to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most people settle because they fear being alone. But you can’t sacrifice what you genuinely desire and expect to be happy forever.
Focusing on "good enough" won't help you manifest a real soul connection. A soul connection makes you feel grounded in the present moment and not off-balance. You want your life-long love to balance you, not just fill the role or be a placeholder partner.
4.Allowing healthy conflict to occur
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This may sound counterintuitive because most people are conflict-avoidant, but you’ll never find a soul connection by avoiding conflict.
When you’re authentic and speak how you feel, you invite the other person to meet you at a high level of authenticity. How a person responds to conflict gives you valuable information about whether the two of you can navigate the inevitable challenges that will arise.
We’re not suggesting you look for conflict, either. Instead, don’t "go along to get along." Show up as your authentic self with the right person, and you’ll figure it out together.
Studies show that avoiding conflict in relationships is unhealthy and can cause significant issues down the road, so address challenges and a difference of opinion immediately and don’t let them fester. You’ll discover conflict is a doorway to a deeper connection with a man who is a match for you.
When manifesting your true soulmate connection, be sure to include how you'd like your partner to handle conflict.
5.Deciding what values matter most
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A lasting soul connection needs two people who share values and are on the same page about what’s essential in life.
Research suggests that shared values are essential for relationship success and that people tend to be drawn to similar partners. These similar values help you find your way back to each other when dealing with stress or disagreements. You’ll be more motivated to work through your differences when you share the same values.
Notice how the people you date spend their resources, like money, time and emotional attention. This behavior will be a more significant indication of values than what a person says. People spend their time, effort, and money on what they value.
You can harness your differences toward the same goals and thrive as a couple when you share similar values. Soulmates are two individuals who continue to choose each other and stay together because they’re better together than apart.
6.Looking for connection, not perfection
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Lasting love is about creating a life together to serve your more significant dreams and goals. When you are on the same page about what is important, you can weather any storm that comes your way.
The right person for you is not perfect, but he will be ideal because you will share values and be willing to work together through life's challenges. Research on romantic relationships consistently highlights the importance of positive communication, shared values, and experiences, so choosing the person who values the same things as you will set you both up for a long-term soul connection.
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches, the founders of Creating Love On Purpose, which takes a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks into love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time.
