People Who Constantly Do These 3 Things Wonder Why They Can't Keep A Normal Relationship
amin naderloei | Pexels Many people wonder why they can't keep a normal relationship, and then they usually blame the problem on other people. This mindset rarely leads to a healthy relationship in conclusion.
Difficulties maintaining a normal relationship seldom have to do with the people we get involved with. The problem is often within ourselves, so it's vital to look deeply and make sure you're not getting in your own way to love.
People who constantly do these 3 things wonder why they can't keep a normal relationship:
1. They can't let go of the past
When you're still holding on to the past or past love, that stops you from moving forward. Any ties to the past literally keep you tied there. Those ties can never allow you to move forward in any way — they will always pull you back. Those ties physically, mentally, and emotionally hold you back and block not only love, but also other things you want to move forward with.
Look deep and tie up any loose ends, and close any open doors. All doors must be closed and locked tight to open any new ones. There are many ways to be stuck in the past.
It could be still holding out hope that an old love will come back, or literally still seeing your ex and not fully letting go. It could be reliving something you wish you had done differently in the past or reliving your "glory days."
You can create even better times ahead, but not if you are still stuck in the past and think those were your best times. There are so many ways to be blocked by not letting go of the past. So be mindful and be sure you aren't holding onto the past in any way.
Research on the ability to adapt after going through an unhealthy relationship showed four critical themes college-aged women used to process the effects of an abusive relationship. The study showed that "making sense of the relationship, recognizing needs in the relationship, posttraumatic growth, and social cognitive maturity" were critical to healing and moving on. So, let go, so you can move forward to better, to real love.
2. They mistreat themselves
Dragana Gordic via Shutterstock
This is a big one. If you're mistreating yourself or putting yourself last, you can only attract others who will mistreat you and put you last, as well. Real love would not mistreat you, so this leads to never being able to attract real love. Martyrs cannot attract real love — remember that. Don't put yourself down or last.
The oxygen mask must go on you first! You must treat yourself right and respect yourself to attract real love. Look at how you see yourself and treat yourself. Start treating yourself like you want your love to treat you. Cherish and truly love yourself. Happiness and confidence are big love attraction magnets.
"The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself," emphasizes personal development coach Lisa Lieberman-Wang. "No one else is responsible for you. You are in control of your life, and you deserve better. You may have trusted the wrong people, invested too much, and ended up getting hurt, but why keep on blaming yourself? Life goes on, and so should you. Love yourself and, if you need to, forgive yourself so you live a content life."
3. They have stayed way too long with someone they shouldn't be with
Nenad Cavoski via Shutterstock
People tend to try to make a relationship work and hope it will change far after they should have left. The longer you stay and accept things you shouldn't, the more of that you will attract into your life, so it becomes a vicious cycle.
Relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman, Ph.D., explained, "You internalize the cracks. You think that if you just worked harder, looked better, or communicated differently, everything would be OK. But a relationship is a system, not a solo project. If you're feeling unmet, it doesn't mean you're broken. It may mean the system needs rebalancing. Individual work is powerful, but it doesn’t replace the mutual effort a thriving relationship requires."
If a relationship is not working for you after trying to work on it, then let it go. The longer you stay, the worse it gets, and the longer it will be until you can find true love. Staying where you aren't happy only tells the universe you want that. And more things you aren't happy about will show up in your life — in all areas.
Only choose what you want. Show the universe what you really want, instead of what you don't want. What we allow or accept is basically ordering more of it onto our lives. So, don't accept or allow anything you don't want. Create what you do want instead of more of what you don't want. Look carefully: What are you accepting or putting up with that you shouldn't be?
Work on these things to attract real love. Don't get in the way of love. Get ready for love!
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul realignment practitioner, life coach, and author.
