Married People Who Stay Deeply In Love Usually Started Doing These 10 Things Early
The things people in the happiest marriages have been doing since they were first dating.
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva In the days of "hookup culture," it's hard to remember when people took dating more seriously. After all, dating is a chance to get to know someone deeply and to start laying groundwork for the beautiful relationship you will have in the future.
You don't need to be desperate to find someone who will treat you with respect or to get the love that you deserve. It's the little things you do to show your partner that you're in it 100 percent that speak volumes, and those things can help you stay in love throughout your lives together.
Married people who stay deeply in love usually
1. Long, relaxed phone calls
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The first old school ritual we need to revive? Picking up the phone! Forget about emojis, "u up?' and figure out how your date really feels by having an actual conversation.
You'll learn so much more from hearing their voice, how they react, and when they pause, than you will from any long string of texts. They'll learn about you, too, and that's a good thing!
2. Dancing at home or out on the town
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Bring back the days when dancing meant looking in someone's eyes, coordinating steps, and trying to figure out if you can find a rhythm. The ritual of dancing, be it ballroom or swing, or at a nightclub, is a great test of compatibility.
You can also learn a lot about someone by how they touch you while dancing. Are they respectful of your space? Do they check in with you when they move their hand from their shoulder to their lower back? Do they ask if you need a water break or a breath of fresh air?
A person can show you a lot during a dance, and someone who seems eager to push your boundaries is someone you'll save a lot of time and heartbreak by avoiding.
3. Spending quality time together
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Why hide behind texts when you can make your date swoon with your charm in the flesh?
Don't let your jokes, quips, and funny innuendos get lost in the ether. So much is said with the eyes, with the way we turn our shoulders, and the tiny twist in the corner of the mouth.
When you only hang out online or with a phone (or, worse, at night in the dark.
4. Respecting one another's time
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If you say you're going to show up at a certain time, actually get there on time. There is nothing cute about dining at a table for one, waiting for your date to grace you with their presence.
If someone keeps you waiting for more than just a few minutes, especially without a call or text as soon as the slowdown occurs, they are telling you how they value your time. It's important that you listen.
This is one of the great benefits of dating in person and taking it slow enough to get to know how the other behaves: you truly get to see their personality and values.
5. Start with courtship and then keep it going
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The "hookup culture" of today is all about being physical without getting tangled in the emotional. How about we flip the script and try taking it slow? Whether it's in the form of amorous letters or a walk in the park, make an effort to court your sweetheart the old-fashioned way.
Try deciding how many dates you'd like to wait before any sort of "horizontal" activities. Don't do it because you're trying to make someone like you more or to hook them. Do it because you know it'll help you see this potential partner more objectively.
Once you're committed, keep it up! Yes, keep courting that person whom you know loves you. That's one of the best ways to stay deeply in love.
6. Take it slow, and keep it that way
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There's a reason why the adage "Slow and steady wins the race" is so popular. Instead of rushing into a relationship, give yourself some time to fall in love naturally.
This isn't just about physical connection, as we discussed above, it's about taking time before the big emotional milestones, too: becoming exclusive, meeting each other's families, sharing phone passcodes, and even moving in together.
Later in your marriage or long-term relationship you can slow it all down again. Take your time to get to know each other again after an absence, a busy period or a tension-filled time.
7. Ready to commit? Go steady (and stay that way!)
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We've become so obsessed with social media that the defining moment of a relationship is how fast we make it "official". Going steady once meant nixing those mixed signals by promising to commit and actually meaning it.
What they had right back then was the notion of speaking clearly about what you want, how you want it, and when. If you wanted to be exclusive, you just outright asked for it. You gave it a name like dating, going steady, or, eventually, engaged. This isn't old-fashioned, it's clear. And clear is kind.
8. Be honest
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OK, you won't need to put your social media skills to use and crack their cryptic statuses for this one. Not sure if you're on the same page? Just ask! The only way you'll change your relationship status is by making it clear you want more.
Stop playing games. Stop following external rules for when to do this or that. Follow your gut and be honest and open.
Old school romance was all about being transparent with your partner and showing just how interested you were. Nothing is worse than falling for someone who doesn't feel the same.
9. Share compliments freely
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Two wonderful things happen when you decide to compliment your date. First, you make them feel good! They feel attractive, appreciated, and special.
Second, you are forced to really pay attention to them. You look at what they're wearing, maybe the car they drive, the way they treat other people, or maybe the book they're carrying with them. That's because the most meaningful compliments are genuine, authentic, and pure as far as intentions go.
Being present in this way teaches you a lot about the person you're with. Do you like how they treat people? Do you find the way they carry themselves attractive? Committing to authentic compliments does so much for you both.
10. Be yourself
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Finally, if you seriously want to find the one, you have to show who you are and trust everything else will fall into place. No matter what generation you're a part of, this rule will always come before all others.
Sure, you can look your best and be on your best behavior. Politeness and basic respect go a long, long way. But be sure that no matter how you play up your best assets, they really are your assets and reflect your values.
Don't use tips or tricks gained from online programs, especially if those programs come from someone whose values don't match yours, through. Instead, take a cue from your grandparents or great-grandparents and simply be kind and thoughtful.
Cassandra Rose Guerrier is a freelance writer, teacher, and editor with a focus on entertainment and trending topics. Her bylines have appeared in the Huffington Post, AskMen, and Thought Catalog, among others.
