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Be loyal to yourself FIRST.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Nov 27, 2021
When I’m mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, I usually see the same kinds of relationship memes and quotes over and over again.
The majority of which always have something to do with loyalty.
“There’s something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty.”
“No matter how many times my loyalty has been abused, that’s the one characteristic of mine I will never change.”
“Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family.”
All of this sounds nice (and kind of intense?), but if we put too much value in our own loyalty to a relationship, we can risk being stuck in that situation far longer than we should.
If you’re not careful, you can confuse loyalty with putting up with a bunch of crap you don't deserve.
I’ve seen way too many girls put their men on pedestals and preach loyalty for them despite the fact that the guys are treating them like dirt. It makes no sense.
Women are built to survive, and while that trait comes in handy in many situations in life, it can keep a girl in a bad relationship for way too freaking long.
You have the right to have the kind of love you want and deserve. You don't have to settle just because you want to feel loved. Loyalty is without a doubt important, but before you worry about being loyal to a guy, you gotta make sure he's worth it.
And that you’re being loyal to yourself. You have to love yourself first, and not employ someone else to do it. Otherwise, you're always going to be loving yourself through somebody else, and all your worth is going to be based on what they see.
Don’t use loyalty as an excuse to put up with crap.
Don’t let it make you forgive a guy who doesn’t deserve it. Don’t let it make you too blind to notice a chronic cheater.
Loyalty isn’t something that should just be expected in a relationship just because you’re in a relationship. Just like trust, love, and sex, loyalty should be earned. And it should only be given to someone who’s willing to give it right back, no questions asked.
If you’ve been staying for the sake of staying, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. If you can't remember why the hell you're being so loyal to someone who's never extended the same courtesy to you, then it might be time to leave.
Ask yourself if you're happy, what problems you might have with the way he treats you, and if you think he cares about you enough to work on them.
Loyalty within a relationship is definitely important, but don’t let loyalty for another person come between the loyalty you should have for yourself.
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Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, and relationships.