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Woman's 'List Of Places Women Absolutely Refuse To Go On A First Date' Sparks Debate

Photo: Phạm Trần Hoàn Thịnh / Unsplash
man and woman on a date

Among the many details a first date entails, perhaps the most important is the location. It’s perfectly reasonable to have places you would not want to go on a first date, especially if they make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. However, one woman took this to a whole new level.

Makisha Campbell posted a list of 28 “places women absolutely refuse to go on a first date” on Facebook.

The list was a group effort, as Campbell thanked “the ladies who reached out to me to help me on my list.”

The list quickly went viral, earning 30,000 shares on the original Facebook post. It has been picked up by other outlets, like Raphouse TV on Facebook and Daily Loud on X

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The list has garnered a slew of incredulous reactions.

Topping the list are several well-known sit-down restaurant chains like Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, and Chili’s. Other first-date staples like coffee dates, ice cream dates, and the movies also made the list. X users have had a field day with the list, with one pointing out, “The narcissism/entitlement in this is insane.” Another lamented, “This is a list of all the places I know about.”

Country singer Walker Hayes even got in on the trend, expressing his dismay that Applebee’s made the list. Hayes’ most popular song, “Fancy Like,” mentions going to “Applebee’s on a date night.” 

Facebook commenters were equally confused, with one posting, “It’s not [necessarily] about where we go, as long as we have a good time. [That’s] what I care most about.” A woman who went to the Cheesecake Factory on her first date with her now-husband said, “Women worrying about a list and might end up missing their blessing!”

Even Campbell admits the list is a bit much, saying in her original post, “This list makes it seem like we don’t want to date at all.”

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The list isn’t entirely laughable, though.

There are some locations on the list that feel justified being there, such as the gym and family functions. And there are also some places, like your own house or the date’s, that it makes sense a woman would not want to go to for safety reasons. The Internet is riddled with articles on staying safe on a date from a wide array of sources, including government websites and lifestyle publications. A study done by Safety.org found that 82 percent of women were worried about their safety on a date, compared to 48 percent of men. The three biggest concerns were being scammed, being drugged, and being sexually assaulted.

While it’s easy to chuckle at many of the restaurants that made it onto the list, or the idea that getting to know each other by sitting down at a coffee shop is no longer acceptable, there are bigger problems to consider as well. In a world where women are truly concerned for their safety, maybe it’s not so unreasonable that there are certain places they would not want to consider going on a first date. While someone’s home seems like a definite no, other entries on the list, like bars and nightclubs, could be seen as equally risky.  

While the list is ultimately all in good fun, it has created an Internet-wide debate about where you can (or should) go on a first date. Perhaps even more importantly, it has reminded us that there are very real reasons to consider not going to certain places.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment and news.