14 Legit Reasons Tinder Is Making You Jaded About Love
What happened to meeting people the old-fashioned way?
chesterf / Shutterstock Like it or not, Tinder has become a mainstream way to meet new people and possibly find the love of your life.
Well, actually, not really. It’s just become a pretty popular hookup app that, once in a while, ends up having decent people on it. If you’re like a lot of people out there, the more you go on Tinder, the less you’ll enjoy it.
Frankly, I gave up on online dating and have found it to be a great move. You might, too, and here’s why you might want to stop online dating and kill your Tinder account, speaking as someone who’s had enough of bad online dates.
Here are 14 legit reasons Tinder is making you jaded about love:
1. Tinder and other dating apps are really just about cheap validation
Oh, they think I’m hot. Oh, I might get laid. Oh, give me a break! I’m going to point out that this is true for both men and women and that getting addicted to this kind of cheap validation is a real issue.
Tinder and other apps make dating into a series of matches, quick judgments, and a mildly hurtful blow when things don’t pan out. From what I’ve seen, abstaining from online dating makes most people feel more confident, even if they miss the messages a bit.
2. You won’t have as many vile messages
I’m sorry, but this is what made online dating and Tinder so terrible for most girls. For one reason or another, most guys seem to think it’s totally acceptable to be rude, gross, and downright creepy to women just because they’re behind a screen.
When girls answer too late or turn them down politely, it turns into them hurling abuse at them. No one needs that kind of disrespect and, for the most part, it’s something that only seems to happen online and on social media. If you ask me, that’s a good reason to stop online dating and turn off Tinder altogether.
3. Honestly, there are hotter ways to get casual sex
Seriously, no big-time erotic novel has ever started with, “I downloaded Tinder, and some fratboy-looking dude just showed up at my door.” They start with people meeting up at a bar, meeting at work, and heading out on a crazy trip somewhere... you get my drift.
4. Tinder makes you feel like you’re shopping (and competing) in a meat market
I’m sorry, but it’s true. There’s something so shallow and inhuman about matching with people based on looks alone, knowing they’re doing the same. It’s debasing and makes you feel grimy for doing so. Even if it’s my cut of meat people are ordering, I don’t want to be seen that way.
5. Even though everyone online dates, there’s still a lot of awkwardness in meeting someone via Tinder
I find that meeting the person you’re dating through other venues, like at clubs or through a friend, tends to have a more organic feel to it. The people you meet in person also are much more likely to treat you with respect because they know you’re a person.
6. It takes a lot more effort to “fuel the fire” that gives you a spark from an online date than it does on a date with someone you met in real life
If you’ve been on dates of both types, you already know what I’m talking about. Truthfully, I know a lot of people who have met their boo online, and I commend them for that. Personally, though, I am not down to work that hard just to have a spark with someone anymore.
7. It’s become a great way to get unsolicited pics
If that’s your shtick, go for it. Tinder is absolutely wonderful for getting all the inappropriate photos you could ever want. However, I don’t think most people want that in their inbox, which is another reason why Tinder sucks.
8. Chances are, you’ve seen people you know in committed relationships on Tinder
Cheaters gonna cheat, but still, it’s depressing to see that, and it can even cause you to have drama between friends in some situations. That alone makes you wonder if you are actually chatting up married men, especially if seeing this stuff becomes common in your area.
9. Tinder is gross
There, I said it. Tinder is a hookup app, but it’s not even a good hookup app. The people on there are foul and 90 percent of them are not looking for a spouse.
The more you think about it, the grosser it gets. It’s a miracle if you don’t feel the need to bathe for five hours straight after using apps like that.
10. Everyone on the app seems to be looking for someone even better
There are literally thousands of options on Tinder in a big city like New York or LA. That makes most people wonder if they’re really getting the best partner out there, or if the grass is really greener on their side of the fence.
This isn’t healthy thinking, and it’s a great way to pass up decent people who could be very compatible with you.
11. The more you stay on there, the less optimistic you are about dating
Seriously, Tinder is an optimism killer. You expect people to treat you well, or to find at least one person who just “gets” it, and then... reality hits. You’ll feel a lot better about people if you try to make real-life connections, trust me.
12. Sometimes, you run out of options
Nothing says it’s time to kill Tinder like “There are no new members in your area.” I need not explain anymore, do I?
13. It seems like a lot of really socially inept and unstable people prefer online dating
Truth be told, I’ve been there and totally understand how something like Tinder can help you hone your social skills. However, there’s only so much that Tinder can do. Combine that with the sheer number of dates who lash out at you for a polite rejection or a late reply, and you’ve got a lot of dating disasters in your future.
If you are someone with a decent set of social skills, chances are you don’t really want to deal with people who still haven’t figured out how to have a healthy conversation with you.
14. Lastly, it’s an unhealthy addiction
Shallow validation, shallow conversation, and a healthy dose of “grass is always greener” is a bad way to go through life. Tinder, like other social media, has an addictive quality about it, and that’s really not a good thing for your mental health.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.