If Your Wife Has These 11 Habits, She's Likely Not A Very Good Person
Sadly, a woman who does these things probably isn't a great person.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock Marriage is a serious commitment. Deciding to spend the rest of your life with the same person can feel overwhelming. When a couple ties the knot, they assume their partner will always be the person they thought they were at that moment. They never imagine that the woman they love will take on habits that make her a bad person. Or, she was able to hide these habits during the dating process.
If you’ve been married to a woman for a while and notice her behavior starting to change, it can be troubling. Some people make changes for the better, while others find themselves taking on habits that make them look like a bad person. Sure, they could still be a good person when they do these things, but likely, they are not a very good person. This can be heartbreaking for the men in their lives. If you notice your wife is becoming someone you never thought she would be, it’s hard to figure out the next move in your relationship. Do you stay with her? Divorce? It can be unclear. Keep an eye out for these habits and decide for yourself if you think your wife is a good person or not.
If your wife has these 11 habits, she's likely not a very good person
1. She’s bad at communicating
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To have a successful relationship, both people have to be willing to put effort into healthy communication. Problems arise when things are not explained properly. When a woman lacks the skills to communicate her feelings clearly, things get lost in translation. She will then grow angry at her spouse, though it was her fault for failing to explain properly in the first place. It’s a frustrating cycle.
Strong communication skills are also important during fights and disagreements. Let’s face it, no relationship is perfect. Strong couples can pull themselves out of arguments or misunderstandings through communication skills. If a woman lacks what is needed to come to a clear, logical conclusion post-disagreement, her relationship may be doomed. She might not be mature enough to settle conflicts.
2. She can be manipulative
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Manipulation is a sign that someone is not a very good person. She wants to control the narrative. She will use phrases to make you feel guilty for her bad behavior. She is always looking for sympathy and will contort any and every situation to get her way. A manipulative person can be dangerous.
“Manipulative behavior in a relationship is not always obvious at first. It can look like affection, concern… even love. But over time, something feels off. One person always seems to hold the power—twisting words, playing on emotions, or making their partner question reality,” says a staff writer for Marriage.com. “Guilt-tripping, silent treatment, and shifting blame are just a few tactics that can make someone feel responsible for things that are not their fault. Some female manipulator traits include emotional blackmail, playing the victim, or using affection as a reward and withdrawal as punishment.”
3. She never takes accountability
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There are few things more frustrating in a relationship than being with someone incapable of seeing their own faults. A woman who refuses to take accountability for her actions is likely not a very good person. A thoughtful person never intends to hurt someone. If they do, they are quick to apologize and admit where they went wrong. A woman without this habit constantly hurts others without taking any accountability.
This can be a form of manipulation within itself. These women are constantly doing questionable things, but play it off as if it were nothing. It can seem like you were the problem when in reality, she acted in bad faith and knows it. We have all met people like this, and we know they are not good people. Though we try to see the best in them, their true colors show eventually.
4. She lies with ease
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There is that instant feeling of guilt we have the second after we tell a lie. Most of us will avoid lying altogether. This is a sign that we are good people. However, if a woman is comfortable telling lies time and time again, she is likely not a very good person. This behavior shows that she doesn’t truly care about the people in her life. She can tell them falsehoods without a care in the world.
“A pathological liar not only lies frequently, but may feel a compulsion to do so. Pathological liars can’t stop lying even when it causes psychological distress, puts them in danger, and creates problems with relationships, work, or other aspects of daily life. Furthermore, pathological lying tends to start early — in adolescence and young adulthood,” says the Newport Institute.
5. She is controlling
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Having a controlling partner can be dangerous. When a woman wants to have the power over your every move, it is clear she is not a good person. There is nothing healthy about one person having total control over the other. It can lead to a serious power dynamic problem that makes the person being controlled afraid to leave. If you notice your wife is telling you what you can and can’t do, it’s clear that she is controlling you.
Control in a relationship is not a sign of love. She may try to play it off as if she has your best interests at heart, and that’s why she’s doing what she is. It’s important to notice that this is an unhealthy habit, and you may want to look into permanently exiting the relationship if she is unwilling to seek help.
6. She is selfish
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When a woman is only thinking of herself, it shows that she does not care enough about the relationship she is in. A selfish woman will never put anyone ahead of herself. Her own wants and needs will be met while she disregards yours. Someone who is too self-involved is likely not a good person. This behavior prevents them from being a good spouse. They couldn't care less about you as long as they get what they want.
“If someone is both totally self-involved and uncaring about anyone else, they are not likely to be very responsive to you in any way other than evaluating how you meet their needs,” says F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W.
7. She lacks empathy
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Going hand in hand with her selfish behavior will be her lack of empathy. Since she is only thinking of how things impact her, she will not be able to empathize with you or anyone else in her life. She cannot connect deeply with people. She can’t put herself in their shoes because she is so self-involved. Dealing with a wife like this is exhausting. Eventually, you will find yourself wondering if she loves you at all.
If you’re going through a hard time at work, she’ll likely brush it off like it’s nothing. She won’t care to understand what you are going through. She may even get upset with you if this problem might impact her spending habits. She doesn’t handle the emotions of others well and will avoid them at all costs. She has no empathy for anyone but herself.
8. She expects you to do everything for her
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If a wife refuses to get her own job, make her own food, or drive herself to events she wants to attend, she is likely not a good person. She will rely on her husband for everything. She expects him to pay for all of her wants and needs. She won’t ask if she can have something; she will expect you to give her anything she wants. This is an exhausting trait that can make even the kindest husbands miserable.
Let’s be real, it can be hard for a woman to support herself financially and emotionally in our society. However, a wife who puts no effort into building her own life is a problem. These wives are genuinely not great people. They expect the world and give very little, if any, in return.
9. She responds with anger
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There is no denying that while being in a long-term relationship, issues between spouses will arise. I know that in my relationship, things can easily annoy me. However, I have learned that how I respond matters. If I am patient and express my feelings calmly, we can easily work through whatever is getting on my nerves. Women who respond to situations with anger are not good people. They are not afraid of hurting others when they are feeling hurt themselves.
“For women, anger is rarely a 'pure' emotion. Instead, it comes mixed with hurt, disappointment, and fear. When participants in Thomas’s studies were asked to talk about anger, they often struggled to disentangle it from these other emotions,” says Dr. K, a relationship expert at Couples Therapy Inc. “Social myths tell us that women don’t know when they are angry, or that women’s anger is always pathological, hysterical, or irrational. ” While anger and hurt are often intertwined, women are aware that they are angry. They have just been conditioned to minimize or ignore it, especially when it comes to their male intimates.”
10. She doesn’t celebrate your wins
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A wife like this will expect you to celebrate every one of her victories. From a promotion at work to nailing a new recipe, she is constantly seeking validation. This is an attempt to feed her ego. When you don’t give her attention for everything in her life, she will likely become upset. However, she fails to celebrate anything good that you do.
If she does, she will be selfish about it. Did you get a new promotion? Great, she will have more money to spend. Let’s say you play in an adult hockey league and your team wins the division. This is a fun and big deal to you, but to her, it’s meaningless. She won’t celebrate with you because it doesn’t help her in any way. She is only thinking of herself at all times.
11. She doesn’t put any effort into the relationship
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Relationships, especially marriages, take work. Like a plant, you have to be constantly watering and weeding your relationship. To stay together, both people need to be on the same page. When a wife refuses to put any effort into her relationship, it’ll show. Things will go downhill, leaving a man hoping for something to change. When she refuses to work with you, it may be time to walk away.
“Effort is a crucial component of any successful and fulfilling relationship. Both partners must invest time, energy, and commitment to build a strong foundation and maintain a healthy dynamic,” says Rachael Pace. “When one partner begins to exhibit signs of disinterest or neglect, it’s important to address these issues early on and take proactive steps to maintain a strong and fulfilling relationship.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
