If A Man Avoids These 11 Questions, He’s Hiding Something Serious
Dodging these questions could be a sign that there is something big he is hiding.
fizkes / Shutterstock If you’ve had difficulty getting honest answers to the questions you ask a man, you are not alone. We’ve all dealt with men who dodge questions or keep secrets. I know I’ve been there. We are not the only ones. Studies have shown that men are more likely to keep secrets from their partners than women are.
It’s fair to expect honesty from your significant other, especially when you are giving it to them. “An existential anxiety provoking many people is that they’ll never fully know everything about their partner,” writes Sari Cooper, CST. “This dilemma of unknowingness and the fact that we change continually throughout our lifetime is the fear that many partners try to conquer through demanding full disclosure in their relationships, and this quest for knowing all can cause suffering and disappointment.” The need to feel connected and fully known by a partner can make their unwillingness to tell the truth even more difficult to swallow. If you find the man in your life is dodging these questions, he may be hiding something big from you.
If a man avoids these 11 questions, he’s hiding something serious
1. ‘Are you interested in a serious relationship?’
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There is nothing more heartbreaking than falling for someone who isn’t interested in having a serious relationship. If a man refuses to answer this question, he’s probably hiding something big, possibly that he does not have the same feelings for you that you have for him.
Men often avoid emotional conversations. If he is refusing to have a conversation about where you stand, it could be that he is avoiding telling you the answer he knows will hurt your feelings.
2. ‘Are you ready for marriage or children?’
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Have you been in a long-term relationship and were ready to take the next step? Men can be afraid of settling down and will avoid the question.
If you’re in a relationship, he could be dodging the question because he isn’t ready for the commitment. However, if this is someone new, he could be avoiding this conversation because he is hiding his family life from you.
3. ‘Can I meet your family?’
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Meeting a man’s family is a big step in a relationship. So why is it hard for some to introduce their partner to their parents? He could be putting off introducing his partner to his parents for many reasons. You may not be the only person he’s seeing, or that he’s afraid of the commitment that comes with blending the family. However, this issue can be layered, and he may be hiding something deeper, like family trauma.
“If your partner has had a troubling and unloving childhood, tell him or her that your heart and mind are open — without judgment — and that you would like to offer any support,” says LeslieBeth Wish, a licensed clinical psychotherapist. “Don't, however, nag your partner about not meeting the family. If you think and feel you are a good love match, give it another three months to re-evaluate.”
4. ‘Why did your past relationships end?’
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Sometimes, you need to know what ended your partner's last relationship. I know I’ve been there. Not because I was nosy, but I was genuinely interested in making sure the issues they had would not impact our partnership.
If a man is avoiding this conversation, he could have something he doesn’t want to admit to you. He could have cheated, or maybe his ex ended things because of his behavior. He will not be excited to tell you these things, so he’ll likely lie or avoid the question entirely.
5. ‘Are we exclusive?'
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While men tend to lean more on their romantic relationships than women, their actions may not show it. They have a harder time forming genuine platonic relationships and rely on women for friendship and comfort. However, men are notorious for avoiding exclusive relationships.
If he is avoiding answering this question, it could be fair to assume you are not exclusive. Men who are not willing to say so likely have more than one woman he is courting romantically.
6. ‘Where were you last night?’
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It’s never easy to wonder where your partner was when they weren’t texting you back or blowing off something you had planned. Of course, you’ll want to ask what was going on, but in some cases, a man might avoid answering this question at all.
Things come up. There may be a genuine reason why he cancelled or didn’t reply. However, if he fails to answer, it’s safe to assume he is hiding something big.
7. ‘How is work going?’
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Psychology says that job satisfaction is the key to a man’s mental health. If he’s avoiding talking about it, there may be something serious he is hiding,
Was he let go and not telling you? Or maybe he didn’t get a promotion he was gunning for and is now embarrassed? He could be keeping his financial success (or lack thereof) a secret. If he’s not talking about his job, something is seriously wrong.
8. ‘How do you really feel about me?’
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This is a question I have always been afraid to ask. I hate the idea of getting my feelings hurt by someone I care about, but it’s important to know where you stand with a partner.
If he’s avoiding answering this question, he is hiding his true feelings. It doesn’t feel good to know someone could just be using you. It’s important to ask this question, and if he dodges it, it might be time to move on.
9. ‘What goals are you working towards?’
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Building a successful future is important to everyone. If a man doesn’t have goals, it can show he’s not serious about moving forward.
Studies show that having ambition is the key to finding success in life. If a man refuses to share his goals with you, he could be hiding his lack of ambition, knowing it is likely a turn-off for you.
10. ‘Where do you see this relationship going?’
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Women are not always looking for something serious. Men may assume that and avoid this question, when in reality, they could be interested in learning if they are on the same page.
Men will dodge this question, often because they assume the other person is seeking commitment they are not ready to give. In other situations, they could avoid having this conversation because they are leading you on for their own enjoyment.
11. ‘Can I follow you on social media?’
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A study done at the University of Dayton found that men viewed frequent social media use as less masculine than those who rarely post on the apps. A man may avoid letting you follow them on socials as a way to protect their masculinity, but this question could have deeper layers.
A man may be hiding his social media activity because he is often interacting with other women and does not want you to know. He might be hiding something serious, like various online relationships.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
