If He Doesn't Have These 20 Qualities, He's Not Your Soulmate

This is what a soulmate will do for you.

Last updated on Sep 18, 2023

Couple sitting on the hood of car, looking at water Dean Mitchell | Canva

By Nicole Yi

It's easy to list what you find unappealing in a potential mate, but identifying the qualities that make someone desirable for the long haul is a slightly tougher task.

When you're finally with someone you think could be "The One," you might find yourself wondering: is he the one? What exactly qualifies a person to fulfill the role of your life partner, anyway?

Not everyone runs a mental checklist before taking the ultimate leap — some just know. But regardless of whether or not you choose to follow that instinct, it doesn't hurt to validate that he or she is your soulmate.


To distinguish between someone who's good for right now versus someone you want to wake up next to every day for the rest of forever, consider the following list of characters and personality traits of a soulmate. 

RELATED: 5 Secrets People In Loving Relationships Know Better Than Anyone


If he doesn't have these 20 qualities, he's not your soulmate:

1. Soulmates support your passions and decisions

He or she should be your biggest cheerleader and encourage you to pursue any endeavors despite how it may affect them.

2. A true soulmate adds value to your life

Not in terms of monetary value — your partner should contribute a quality that inspires you to grow, whether that means he or she is smarter or more ambitious than you. (But make sure you can provide the same.)

3. A soulmate is comfortable being completely silly with you

"Til death" is a long ride that should be filled with the most fun moments. Along the way, they shouldn't have a problem being playful with you or exposing their inner child without inhibition.

4. Your soulmate will adore you

Even if you're not one who needs validation, your partner should show how much they love and adore you without necessarily putting you on a pedestal.


5. Soulmates are willing to compromise

The two of you will never not disagree on something, so make sure he or she is open-minded to your needs and desires, too.

6. Your soulmate will treat your family just as well

If your partner shows zero respect for your friends and family, it's hard to ignore, even if he or she has no problem showing appreciation to you.

7. Soulmates value your opinions

Your partner doesn't have to agree with you at all times, but he or she should be able to respect your beliefs (without imposing theirs on you) despite them being different from their own.

RELATED: 6 Key Signs He Is Serious Boyfriend Material

8. A soulmate will love themselves just as much as they love you

The best partner is someone who can stand alone without constantly depending on your company or attention. He or she should be comfortable with themselves and be totally secure without you there.


9. A soulmate is trustworthy

Even if every other aspect of your relationship is solid, the power of doubt is hard to dismiss. Problems down the road will be inevitable if you're constantly second-guessing their honesty (and vice versa).

10. Your soulmate will exhilarate you, not deplete you

Your partner should make you excited about life and its offerings. He or she should never make you feel bad about yourself or diminish your spirit in any way.

11. Soulmates have a life outside of the one you share

It's important for your partner to understand that you have a life of your own and to encourage you to enjoy things without him or her.

12. Soulmates don't hold grudges

Despite any bumps in the road, your life partner should seek to improve your relationship rather than dwell on any setbacks.


13. Soulmates bring out the best in you

Your partner should not provoke your inner worst qualities — only the ones that make you a better you.

14. Soulmates love all of you

This includes your flaws, especially. Your personality traits don't come à la carte, so he or she should be able to embrace you as a whole, shortcomings and all.

RELATED: 7 Subtly Brilliant Ways To Get A Man To Do Anything You Want

15. A soulmate can be held accountable

He or she should be able to put aside their ego to be held accountable for any mistakes. Your partner should own up to them rather than place blame on someone or something else.

16. Soulmates allow themselves to be vulnerable to you

Communication will prove to be the hugest challenge if either of you has a wall up. Your S.O. should feel comfortable enough to confide in you with all of their fears and secrets.


17. Your soulmate will keep you in check without dictating

It can get boring when someone is in constant agreement with you for the sake of not wanting to upset you. When you're out of line, he or she shouldn't be afraid to challenge you and should respectfully point out your wrongdoing when necessary.

18. Your soulmate will allow you to be you

It's difficult to be fully happy in a relationship when you're forced to suppress any part of you. You shouldn't feel restricted whatsoever, whether that includes being able to freely pursue your hobbies or to be your silly self.

19. Your soulmate is dependable

You should always be able to rely on your partner for anything, from emotional support to upholding their commitments. You don't want to have to waste time worrying about if they're acting irresponsibly.


20. True soulmates are easy to be with

Every relationship comes with its battles but by no means should it be a daily war — that can get exhausting. Although the need for improvement is never-ending, your partner should be your counterpart, teammate, and best friend, and mutual happiness should come with little effort.

RELATED: The 8 Major Differences Between Being 'In Lust' And 'In Love'

Nicole Yi is a former associate editor at PopSugar. She oversees, writes, and plans all copy and content across channels for her company, an exciting e-commerce brand called Verishop.