Husbands Who Don’t Love Their Lives Anymore Do These 11 Things At Home
It can be hard for men to be honest about how unhappy they've become with their lives.
Bits And Splits / Shutterstock Everyone wants to have the perfect, fairytale relationship. Sadly, that is not always how marriages turn out. Sometimes, husbands can grow unhappy with both their wives and their lives, and their behavior will change drastically. Men who were once supportive, kind, and loving husbands start to shut down. They stop caring about maintaining work and personal lives. These husbands will shrink into themselves, no longer putting effort into the things that once made them happy. He will become depressed.
“Depression can affect men and women differently. When depression occurs in men, it may be hidden by unhealthy coping behavior. For several reasons, male depression often is not diagnosed or treated and can lead to serious and sometimes tragic results. But when treated, male depression usually gets better,” notes the Mayo Clinic. Unhappy husbands may be ignoring their depression symptoms. Overall, unhappiness takes a serious toll on both the person experiencing it and those close to them. It can be challenging to navigate these feelings, especially when it feels like there is nothing you can do to help him find joy in his life again.
Husbands who don’t love their lives anymore do these 11 things at home
1. They become irritable
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Irritability can be the first sign a husband may show when he begins to lose the love he had for his life. Have you noticed he has a shorter fuse? The noise the kids make is starting to get under his skin. He isn’t his normal happy self. He easily loses his patience when asked to complete a simple task, like taking out the trash. These signs point to an unhappy husband.
It can be difficult for men to open up about their feelings. Instead of being up front and sharing his concerns, he will often act out. He will show you how he feels before he will verbalize it. You’ll notice he is constantly on edge.
2. They stop communicating
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If your husband cuts off communication, he doesn’t love his life anymore. He will sink into himself and cut off those around him. When he does communicate, it’ll be short answers. It will often be laced with irritability. He will no longer check in during the day, and trying to connect with him will grow increasingly difficult before failing altogether.
“Men are particularly reluctant to speak up about their own needs and desires in relationships with women because they have been socialized to be emotionally self-reliant and to feel ashamed of needing anything,” says Avrum Weiss, Ph.D.
3. They withdraw emotionally
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It is hard for many men to connect emotionally to begin with. When they become unhappy with their lives, they are quick to shut down emotionally. Being vulnerable doesn’t come naturally for them. They are embarrassed to appear weak. When a man opens up to you, it is a sure sign that he is happy with you.
The second that happiness fades, so will his ability to connect emotionally with you or others around him. He is struggling with his emotions in those moments, unsure how to convey them to you properly because he’s afraid of being hurt further. When he is unhappy with his life, it’ll show in how easily he emotionally disconnects.
4. They show a loss of interest
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Showing a loss of interest is a sign that your husband may be dealing with depression. Men who are unhappy with their lives will no longer find joy in the things they once loved. The sports teams he used to root for every weekend will become less and less important. He’ll stop playing with his children as much. He will no longer want to go out on dates.
“If you feel like the things that used to bring you pleasure no longer hold any interest for you, you might be experiencing what clinicians call anhedonia, which comes from the Greek an-, meaning 'without,' and hēdonē, meaning 'pleasure.' The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-5) defines anhedonia as “markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities,” writes Michael Roman, MD, for Talkitary.
5. They avoid social situations
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When a man is no longer happy with his life, he will avoid all social situations. He won’t go out with his friends as much. He will also stop texting and calling people. His family and friends may begin to ask you why they are being ignored. Unfortunately, he will also stop socializing with you at home.
If you enjoyed watching TV on the couch or playing games together, he will no longer make the effort. If children are involved, he may no longer prioritize spending time with them. If invited to work events, he will choose to stay home. Talking to people, even his own wife, can become exhausting.
6. They turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms
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If a husband no longer loves his life, he may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Maybe he is drinking more than he used to or spending too much money. Anything that can mask how he feels, even if it’s just for a second, will be what he turns to.
“Unhealthy coping mechanisms involve behaviors that provide short-term relief but may exacerbate distress in the long run,” says Anna Katharina Schaffner, Ph.D. "These strategies often impede emotional processing, worsen our stress, and hinder effective problem-solving. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can lead to a cycle of negative emotions, decreased self-esteem, ill health, and even physical harm.”
7. They care less about work
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For men, their work life can mean everything. When they’ve reached a point where they are no longer happy with their lives, they will care less and less about maintaining a strong presence in the office. You may notice him taking more days off. He’ll likely spend those days at home on the couch, disconnected from the world around him.
The pressure society places on men to climb the social ladder can make it difficult for them to prioritize anything before work. When he was still loving his life, he probably talked to you a lot about his job. Once he passes that point, he will likely stop keeping you updated on his work life. At home, he will no longer share information like promotions, raises, or, worse, demotions and pay cuts.
8. They stop showing affection
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When your husband got home after a long day of work, was he quick to kiss you? Maybe he would show affection on the couch after dinner while you watched TV. A man who has lost the love he once had for his life will cut off all affection. He doesn’t care about making his wife feel important anymore.
“Emotional well-being is crucial for physical affection. If a partner isn’t happy, they are less likely to engage in intimate moments,” writes Rachael Pace. “Best believe your partner will only have time for physical touch and intimacy if the mind is calm and relaxed. Therefore, ensure you are both happy and not struggling with any issues.”
9. They rely on distractions
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Distractions are a great way for a man to stop focusing on how unhappy he is with his life. Instead of focusing on fixing the issues that bother him, he will put all his time and attention into something distracting. If he is a big fan of video games, they will become his top priority. He will no longer care about maintaining his relationship at home. Distractions will come first.
It could be that he instantly goes to the couch when he gets home from work and doesn’t get up until it’s time for bed. He could be putting all of his energy into sports. There are many ways he may show that he is unhappy by relying on distractions around him.
10. They spend less time at home
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A sign that a husband doesn’t love his life anymore can be seen in how little time he spends at home. When he’s unhappy with the world around him, he will look to get away from it entirely. He will stop coming home right after he gets off work. He’ll always find an excuse to get away from his life at home.
“If the atmosphere at home feels tense or uncomfortable, it might make a man want to spend more time away. When there’s stress or negativity, he might find it easier to relax and enjoy himself with friends rather than deal with the discomfort at home,” says Abigail Renee.
11. They become unreliable
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When a husband no longer loves the life he’s built, it shows in how unreliable he becomes. It can start mild. He may stop doing the chores you ask him to do. He’ll leave his dirty clothes on the floor and pile up the dishes in the sink. From there, it can evolve into total unreliability at home.
He will make it so you can no longer count on him emotionally. He will become so withdrawn that he will not show up when you need him. Maybe he’ll forget to pick the kids up from school, or purposely skip out on a social event you had planned with some sort of excuse. Unreliability makes it clear that he no longer loves or cares about his life at home.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
