How Growing Up In A Broken Home Changes Your Heart

I didn't ask to be treated the way I was.

Woman crying on couch with tissues kazoka30 | JackF | Getty Images

Growing up in a broken family causes a whirlwind of emotions, some logical and others that seem to make no sense at all. It will cause wounds that no one can see and will take a lifetime to get over. 

A child is supposed to learn to love through the examples set by their parents. Learning the ways you should treat others and be treated is possible in a negative environment, but oh-so-difficult. It requires a lot of self-reflection and work to get over the things we see and learn as children, but it is possible.


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When yelling, fighting, slamming doors, and puddles of tears are your normal, that's what you expect from life. Those behaviors create a picture in your mind that can never be erased. You start to think that you deserve those things, so you put up with it in all your future relationships. 

Photo: RDNE Stock project/Pexels


But I know that love exists.

I know how a woman deserves to be treated and I know how to love, but I don't know how to accept love when it's offered to me. It's something I never got in my childhood, and it's something I thought I would never be able to experience as an adult. 

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A strong, happy relationship is hard to come by and a loving, faithful man is even harder to find. I'm lucky enough to have found both, but a broken heart rooted in a broken home isn't easily mended. There's still a lot of healing I have to do, and it feels unfair sometimes because I had never asked to be treated the way I was.


It takes an inexcusable amount of time to fully accept that someone actually loves me and an even longer time to accept that I'm worth it. 

I take situations and twist, turn, and overanalyze them until there's no turning back. I take things for more than they're worth. 

I question every little thing and I bring my traumatic past to the surface on an unhealthily regular basis. 



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I recognize that mending a broken heart like mine is not a journey that just anyone would embark on. It takes a special kind of guy to weather that kind of storm.

But a strong, healthy relationship with a faithful guy is the cure to end all cures.  

My heart is nowhere near mended, but the pieces of it are no longer spread out across an ice-cold floor. In time, with the help of my love, I know I'll be able to piece myself back together again.


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Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.