3 Get-Your-Ex-Back Strategies That Are So Effective It's Scary

Here's how to show him that you don't need him, so he'll come crawling back.

girl expressing her love on notes and texting tovfla via Canva | MarioGuti via Canva

Some relationships end, and like an episode of Looney Tunes, that's truly all folks. It's time to change the channel.

A lot of relationships, however, are salvageable; this is why learning how to win your ex-boyfriend back isn't a waste of time. It's a worthy investment, as long as you're willing to make the effort to make him your boyfriend again.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that most women who try to reconcile with an ex-flame go about it the wrong way.


This is usually because human nature makes us impatient and impulsive. Other times, it's because people grow panicked and heart-struck and act out of desperation, a shade that looks good on no one.

When it comes to the battle of the genders, women are largely granted victory status in terms of communication. Simply put, they are better at expressing their feelings than the average man (unless you count head nods and grunts, of course).


But, in terms of repairing a relationship, this penchant for communication can actually work against you. This is most often seen in three behaviors.

Here are 3 things not to do to win him back:

1. Calling your ex often, or texting, emailing, or contacting him via whatever social media platform newly invented that week

2. Telling your ex that you love him and you'll do anything to get him back

3. Asking his friends or family about him

Now, in a perfect world, doing the above things might work. After all, who doesn't want to hear that they're loved? But, in the real world, throwing yourself at someone often results in you then being thrown under the bus.

As almost everyone has heard before, men (and women, too, for that matter) love a challenge. This is true for the initial pursuit of a relationship and it’' true when a relationship has ended but reconciliation is still a possibility. 

By contacting him frequently, professing your unyielding passion, or asking his best friend what he's been up to (he'll tell him that you asked no matter how many times he pinky swears that he won't), you destroy that element of challenge.


These three actions tell your ex that you're hung up on him; it gives him unsaid permission to do whatever he wants (sleep around, treat you like garbage, become a fan of Justin Bieber) because you'll still be waiting in the wings, pining for him.

That's the exact opposite message you want to convey. Instead, you want your actions to tell your ex that you're moving on, and if he doesn't get his stuff together he'll miss out on the best thing that's ever happened to him.

Here are 3 get-your-ex-back strategies that are so effective it's scary:

On the flip side of the reconciliation operations are three things you should do. These things aren't always easy, but they are almost always necessary:


1. Be patient. It'll pay off

2. Move on with your life, or at least give the impression that you are

3. When you run into or see your ex, be breezy and look awesome

The relationship games we played in childhood (if you like a girl, pull her hair; if you like a guy, pretend you don't know him) still apply in adulthood, but on a more mature (at least sort of) level. It's not that these games are noble or right, but they do speak to the essence of human nature: people will always want what they think they can't have.

The Romance Code is a relationship coach who shows people how to navigate the ups and downs of love.