6 Financial Red Flags That Actually Show Someone Is A Keeper, According To A Money Expert
These money bugaboos often make for a solid relationship future.
My Agency | Shutterstock You can't be too careful when it comes to dating, especially nowadays. And with our economy being such a mess, student loan debt basically being a foregone conclusion, and very little stability to be had in the job market, a lot of single folks have some pretty tight requirements for their potential partner's financial status.
But it seems like some of us might be being a little bit TOO cautious or strict when it comes to how our dates manage their money, and according to one finance expert, it's making a lot of us miss out on people who are potentially perfect lifelong partners. Fred Harrington is a business and money expert and the CEO of discount site Proxy Coupons. He says that when it comes to selecting potential partners, a lot of us are getting the wrong idea about a handful of seemingly concerning financial behaviors that are actually clues to really solid money habits.
Someone who suggests coffee instead of dinner might come off as cheap, and someone who brings up their financial details early on can seem to be lacking boundaries. Red flags, right? Well, maybe not.
"People too often mistake smart financial habits for stinginess or emotional unavailability,” Harrington said. "But someone who's thoughtful about money early on may actually be showing you the exact qualities you want in a long-term partner.”
1. They always pick the cheaper date spot
Most of us take stuff like this to mean they're a complete and total cheapskate, and they may in fact be! But Harrington said it's just as often the case that they're simply pragmatic and have genuinely solid budgeting skills, which is exactly what you want to build long-term wealth.
"Just because someone chooses affordable venues doesn’t necessarily mean they’re tight with money — they might just be being realistic about their spending," Harrington said. "They're showing you they can have fun without breaking the bank, which is exactly the mindset you want in a partner." It also shows they value the time and experience over the price tag, which reveals a more holistic and long-term view of their finances, rather than a spending mentality.
2. They hesitate before splitting big costs
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If your partner pauses before agreeing to split that top-dollar weekend getaway, it's not necessarily because they're being a difficult fussbudget. They might just be being healthily cost-conscious. "Taking time to think about bigger expenses doesn’t signal avoidance, but rather smart money management," Harrington said. “Someone who jumps into financial commitments without thinking is actually the bigger red flag." That's likely to lead to actual financial problems down the road.
3. They don't shower you with gifts early on in the relationship
A guy opting for supermarket flowers over expensive jewelry might seem kind of cloddish and unromantic to some, but spending lavishly is the actual red flag. It's often a part of financial love-bombing, the process by which an abuser lures a victim into a relationship.
More importantly, being a bit more casual about gifts shows fiscal prudence as well as sincerity. "Someone who shows affection through thoughtful, affordable gestures is demonstrating genuine care rather than trying to buy your attention," Harrington said. "This restraint shows they understand that real intimacy develops over time rather than through grand financial gestures."
4. They talk openly about debt
Talking about credit cards and student loans on a date can certainly seem gauche or lacking in boundaries, or even like the dreaded TMI "trauma dumping." Plus, it's just a vibe killer. That is, unless you shift your mindset. "Transparency about debt shows emotional maturity and respect for your relationship," Harrington said.
"Someone who hides their financial problems is the real red flag here, as they’re likely setting you up for nasty surprises down the line." That debt will one day be your debt, after all, should the relationship work out!
5. They say no to certain joint expenses
Your partner refusing to split that premium streaming service or expensive concert tickets can be annoying and quickly lapse over into killjoy territory. But Harrington said it's also an indicator that your partner is comfortable setting boundaries, a skill that all too many people lack and which can make or break a relationship.
"Learning to say no to unnecessary expenses is a skill that will serve your relationship well," Harrington said, "and someone who can't set financial boundaries will struggle with money management throughout your relationship.”
6. They research before every purchase
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This can be really irritating when you're the more devil-may-care type, but there's a difference between someone who's pragmatic and savvy and someone who's just plain old neurotic. People who take time to do their research before making a purchase are "displaying the kind of financial diligence that builds wealth over time," Harrington says. "Such habits might seem small, but they can add up to significant savings over the years."
Some people are just cheap, controlling killjoys. Every situation is different. But it's just as likely that your fussy new partner has the foresight and big-picture financial skills that will help secure your future and make communication about money effective and easy. As Harrington put it, "they're showing you exactly who they are with money, which means you should be able to trust them with everything else.” And that's as good as gold.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
