Man Responds To Dating Coach Who Says Men Like To Choose Basic ‘Wonderbread’ Women Over ‘High-Value Croissants’
We’d all be better off with a little less commentary on dating preferences.
Mikeledray, rblfmr / Shutterstock; Golubovy / CanvaPro Today’s dating landscape is tough, especially for people looking for a long-term partner. Amidst growing desires for short-term relationships or “no strings attached” fun, people searching for a serious partner are left to sort through hundreds of potentials looking for their perfect match.
Dating coach Nelly Sudri touched on this conversation, arguing that “high quality” women specifically are having trouble finding someone capable of meeting their high expectations. What’s her reason for this supposed dating phenomenon? Basic, average, “Wonderbread women.”
A dating coach suggested men like to choose ‘basic Wonderbread women’ over ‘high-value croissants.’
“Ladies, have you ever wondered why some men choose basic ‘Wonderbread women’ over you?” Sudri questioned.
In her TikTok from October 2022, she claimed there are two types of women — a more average, basic “Wonderbread” woman and a high-value “French croissant.”
She clarified that “Wonderbread” women are “average” — women who give up their standards easily to get into a relationship, morph into whatever their partner wants them to be, or have smaller “needs” in a partnership to feel fulfilled. Conversely, “French croissant” women are bolder, likely more confident women who need their partner to provide more, whether financially, emotionally, or intellectually.
“Wonder Bread will become a grilled cheese, and avocado toast, a PB and J any day of the week, depending on what he wants,” Sudri continued her analogy. “A croissant, on the other hand, it's kind of like take it or leave it.”
She theorized that men typically go for these “Wonderbread” women instead of fighting for a “croissant" because they’re cheaper, more willing to change for their partner, and less likely to be “high maintenance.”
Her bold assumption is that men like “the easy route.” Despite your charming presence in their life, most men are going to overlook you for something “more convenient" and will morph themselves and compromise their standards.
“Here’s the thing. People who like croissants, love croissants, and don’t even look at Wonderbread," Sudri said. "So don’t try to change yourself, and instead embrace all of your flaky French layers — the right person will fall for them.”
While the dating coach clearly wanted to make a silly analogy to empower women like her, the truth is that it came off as subtly misogynistic.
Pitting women against each other based on what things they need to feel fulfilled by men. It’s perfectly okay for a woman to meet her own needs and simply look for companionship in a partner.
“Being easy” or “convenient” is far from what women should be calling each other, especially in a society that hyper-focuses on the desires, preferences, and standards of men.
Despite the opinion of this dating coach, one woman’s dating preferences or personal identity doesn’t diminish anyone else’s. Dating standards are uniquely defined by each person and shouldn’t determine their overall character. One person’s need for financial stability in a partner doesn’t hold any more significance than another’s “financial blindness” whilst dating.
Of course, her strong-willed terminology and broad strokes in defining dating have captured the attention of many, with comments sparking conversations about identity, womanhood, and individuality. One man’s response video, though, called her out directly — going in a completely different direction to speak on “men’s real preferences” in dating.
In a response video, a man on TikTok called the coach’s terminology ‘derogatory’ and misguided, speaking on behalf of men to say ‘confidence’ is everything.
“You’re pretty far off base here, and I’ll tell you why,” @big_riig started in his video. “The reason why men are typically attracted to more, as you call them, 'plain’ women is confidence.”
Despite “taking a stand” against this woman’s seemingly “derogatory” approach, he went on to say that women who "don’t put on makeup thicker than plaster on the outside of my house," or get their lips injected, get botox, or fake tans are more confident in who they are. "They’re willing to go out in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie.”
His opinion is that these “more natural” women are more desirable to men. According to him (a man), a woman’s ability to go out in sweatpants and still dress up for dinner is a versatility that makes them more confident — “It’s not about complying to what their men want or making themselves something they’re not. It’s about being in the moment, doing what they want to do, and being with men who do the same.”
Instead of acknowledging the value and importance of all “types” of women, something both of these TikTok creators failed to do, this man took a starkly opposing view.
According to him, men prefer “women who are comfortable with who they are and can be ready to walk out the door in five minutes … not [those] who spend three hours in the bathroom every morning.”
He suggested the dating coach's assumption about men’s preferences was not entirely wrong — that men do prefer ‘plain women’ who love them regardless of their status or money.
“At the end of the day,” he continued, “men just want women who are going to stand with them and stand by them … and are confident in who they are. They’ll support their man whether there’s five dollars in the bank or five million.”
“Stop disrespecting yourself and stop disrespecting men,” he bluntly stated, “then there will be a lot more availability out there for you. Trust me.”
After both of the videos, it’s important that we get one thing straight: everyone’s dating preferences are unique in their own right.
One person’s biggest turn-on is another’s red flag. However, not everything that women do is for male validation, especially the time they put into “getting ready,” choosing an outfit, or deciding to wear makeup.
Photo: Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
Your worth is not negated by the amount of time it takes you to get ready. It’s not based on the validation of anyone else’s preferences. It’s not reliant on how you view yourself, the specificity of your dating standards, or the likes that you get on social media.
Whether you felt the woman’s “Wonderbread” analogy was empowering or preferred this TikTok man’s perspective on what he finds attractive — nobody’s single sentiment is going to explain the entire landscape of love, dating, and attraction. One man might find a more “natural” person attractive, while another might find the beauty of “complexity” more suitable for them.
At the end of the day, we can only communicate our own preferences. It’s impossible for one person to speak on the preferences of an entire gender, or to call “one type” of person more “lovable” than another. Not everyone is going to like or agree with your opinions, but regardless of them, you’re deserving of love.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.