Couples Who Meet This One Specific Way Aren’t As Happy As Everyone Else, Says Study
Modern dating is hard...
Fernanda De Freitas | Pexels When it comes to dating, swiping on an app seems to be the height of convenience. Unfortunately, when it comes to actually finding a healthy and happy relationship, convenience might not be a good thing. According to a recent study, researchers found that when it comes to relationship satisfaction, online couples aren't quite as happy as those who met in the wild, so to speak.
For many adults, dating has become more of a chore than something to actually enjoy. Apps aren't making it any better, either. Young people are being hit the hardest by the lack of connection. No one is willing to meet organically, but the distaste for apps is only growing, making finding love, or at least looking for love, much less appealing.
A study found that couples who meet on apps aren't as happy as other couples.
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According to research from an international team led by Dr. Marta Kowal from the University of Wrocław, data was gathered from over 6,000 participants across 50 countries. On average, they found that 16% of participants met their partners online, rising to 21% among those who initiated their romantic relationships after 2010.
"Participants who met their partners online reported lower relationship satisfaction and intensity of experienced love, including intimacy, passion, and commitment, compared to those who met offline," explained study co-author and Australian National University PhD student Adam Bode.
Couples who meet in person tend to be more compatible than couples who meet online.
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The main reason behind these findings had to do with compatibility. Couples who met offline tended to have similar traits to each other than those who met on dating apps. And couples who have more similarities tend to be more successful in the long run.
"Similar social and educational backgrounds can positively influence relationship quality by fostering greater social support and acceptance, shared life experiences, and alignment in values and worldviews," Bode continued. "The internet provides access to a seemingly limitless pool of potential partners, but while this abundance could help individuals find an ideal match, in practice, it often leads to choice overload."
People who meet on dating apps they're also usually looking for something more casual. "While early users [of dating apps] sought lifelong partners, modern users increasingly pursue casual relationships. This shift toward short-term, less committed relationships may, in turn, contribute to lower relationship quality."
The fact that interest in dating has declined could be a direct result of disgruntled dating app users or just a general change in societal norms, but finding a partner is not a priority the way it used to be. In fact, according to Pew Research, 50% of singles aren't even interested in finding love or going out on a date. When no one is taking love seriously, it certainly reduces the number of potential matches on dating apps significantly.
Many young adults have reported feeling burned out from using dating apps.
While there are definitely success stories from using dating apps, there's a growing sentiment that the apps are discouraging. For the most part, complaints center around the superficial nature of dating apps that seem to base matches solely on looks, rather than actually getting to know someone. Along with the fact that there are usually endless options to choose from, it can feel impossible to think that you could actually meet someone worthwhile on apps like Hinge or Bumble.
According to a Forbes Health/OnePoll survey, survey respondents reported spending nearly 51 minutes per day on dating apps — with women reporting a slightly higher amount of time (52 minutes) than men (49 minutes).
When asked how often they felt emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by dating apps, a total of 78% experienced this feeling sometimes, often, or always.
"…I think sometimes people can feel very expendable when they are on an app, and also there is an inherent competition that underlies everything (does my date like someone else more than me, who else are they going out with?, etc.)," explained licensed clinical and forensic neuropsychologist Judy Ho to Forbes Health.
Dating apps can feel hopeless when you're actually looking for a genuine connection. That's why it's important to actually set boundaries when using them, and if you find yourself no longer enjoying the process, there's nothing wrong with deleting your profile and taking a couple of weeks or even months off.
At the end of the day, dating should be an enjoyable activity that you do to meet new people and eventually find someone you want to be with. Whether or not you've met your significant other on a dating app, what matters is being able to build a healthy and loving relationship with that person, no matter what.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
