'The Best Dating Advice I've Ever Heard Is To Pick A Partner Like You'd Pick A Puppy'
Would you want the one that's just cute or the one that gives you their undivided attention?
evrymmnt | Shutterstock We’ve all heard various pieces of dating advice, but we’ve most likely never learned about this one. Despite the fact that many have never heard it before, some people shared that it is incredibly effective and actually makes sense.
TikTok users claimed that when seeking the ideal partner, you should approach it as if you were selecting a new puppy. Initially, this advice might sound absurd. However, after hearing those who swear by the method’s reasoning, it makes a lot of sense and could potentially save us from a lot of heartbreak and loneliness in the future.
Many people say that it's wise to choose a partner who shows you the most affection — not just the cutest one.
In a TikTok video posted by user @hermes.the.cynic, he explained the “best dating advice” he’s ever heard. “You should treat picking your partner like picking a puppy,” he said. “You don’t pick the coolest looking puppy or the spiffiest looking puppy, you pick the one that’s happiest to see you.”
Bangkok Click Studio | Shutterstock
The man acknowledged that while “all puppies are cool,” you are most likely going to pick the one who clearly admires you the most, licking your face and wagging their tail whenever you walk into a room.
Like picking a dating partner, attractiveness and physical appearance are factors that most of us consider, with some of us admitting to choosing a partner solely based on their attractive looks. However, that shouldn't be the whole package. Love is not all about looks, and over time, physical appearance can deteriorate, leading to a relationship that may fizzle out.
You could meet someone who possesses the qualities of a great partner, including giving the utmost, undivided attention when you are together and being excited to see you, but they may lack the attractiveness that you desire. Everyone’s needs and expectations in a relationship are different; however, those who tend to have strong, long-lasting relationships are those who enjoy spending time together, support and encourage one another, and trust and respect one another.
Like when choosing a puppy, you want to go with a partner who is curious about you.
Tess (@itstesstok) shared a different approach when it comes to dating using the "selecting a puppy" method. “Choosing a partner is like choosing a puppy,” she said. She explained that when she was younger, her father taught her that when choosing the right puppy, you should clap your hands loudly around the litter to get their attention.
According to Tess, the advice her father gave her is that she didn't want the puppies who ran away at the sound of her clapping since they are “too scared” of her, and she did not want the puppies who ran toward her at the sound of her clapping since they were “too brave.” She wanted to pick the puppy who heard her clapping and was simply curious and intrigued by the sound.
“When you think about the partnerships that are really, really, really successful, they are the ones where you go, ‘Hey, look at that bird!’ and they engage with you,” Tess said, referencing the popular "bird theory."
This was a relationship study conducted by New York psychologist John Gottman, known as “the bird-bid theory.” Over the duration of the study, Gottman observed some significant behaviors between newlywed couples that would either make or break their relationship in the future. Throughout the day, couples would make requests for connections, called “bids.”
For example, a husband who is a bird enthusiast notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” The husband is not just commenting on the bird. He is requesting a response from his wife — a sign of interest or support — hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird. Those who “turned toward” their partners, just as curious as they were about the bird, were more likely to have a lasting marriage. Those who turned away and were uninterested in the bird were more likely to have their marriages fail.
Just like choosing a puppy, you want a partner who is intrigued by your interests.
“I feel like this is such a good way of looking at partnerships,” Tess said of her father’s advice and Gottman’s study. “Who’s gonna run away from you, who’s gonna be aggressively running toward you... and who’s gonna be curious and intrigued and listen.”
Yan Krukau | Pexels
Although there are no studies that scientifically confirm you should approach dating as if you were picking out a puppy for successful results, it wouldn’t hurt to try out the advice for future dating. It is important to keep in mind that everyone’s ideal puppy and partner choices are different, and some may still choose to pick the cute and aggressive ones over the curious and affectionate ones.
However, keep in mind that a cute and aggressive puppy may be the one to destroy your home and belongings if you turn your back on it for even a second.
Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
