Women Are Agreeing That You Should Break Up With A Man Who Proposes With A Ring You Hate — ‘Wrong Ring, Wrong Guy’
The wrong ring could spell the end of a relationship.
ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock Would you dump your man if he proposed to you with a ring you hate? Sounds harsh, but according to Ian Lara, the host of the "Adulthood Podcast," proposing with a ring your partner hates is grounds for breaking up.
There's no denying that for most women, engagement rings are serious business. Everyone has their own taste, style, and expectations when it comes to their proposal ring. It's hard to imagine that a man who intends to spend his life with a woman doesn't know her well enough to have a sense of what she might like. And let's be real, if marriage is on the table, most couples have talked about the ring. Maybe Lara is actually on to something with his theory. There are a whole lot of women who agree with him.
Women agree that you should break up with a man who proposes with a ring you hate.
In a clip from his podcast that has been viewed over four million times, Lara shared, “If a man proposes to you with a ring you hate, I think immediately you say no and break up! Because what this guy is telling you is, ‘I have taken absolutely zero time to learn anything about you, and I went out and spent thousands of dollars on a thing that I didn’t even care to ask if you would like.’”
Women flocked to the comments section to share their own opinions regarding the matter, and many of them were right on par with Lara’s. “This man can keep his microphone,” one TikTok user commented. “They'd rather call you ungrateful for not liking their inconsiderate purchase. When they could've taken the time to ask you what you liked and disliked,” another noted. “I have argued this for so long. I'm happy to hear a man say it. The ring should reflect her...not him. It's like buying Air Forces for a man who only likes Air Max,” another wrote.
If you hate your ring, you're not alone.
When a woman makes her dream ring known, voicing her preferred style, size, shape, and material, and her man gets her a ring that doesn’t match any of her descriptions, she can feel unseen and misunderstood. Instead of a thoughtful and meaningful purchase, it turns into an inconsiderate afterthought, or at least it feels that way.
This seems to be an ongoing problem, as one David's Bridal survey, reported on by Cosmopolitan, found that 57% of women don't actually like the ring their partners proposed with. If that whopping percentage surprises you, it shouldn't. Dr. Jenny Woo, author of "52 Essential Relationship Skills," told The Knot, "It's perfectly okay — and more common than you think — to feel ecstatic about your engagement but underwhelmed by the ring."
But is it actually grounds for a split? That's complicated. Dr. Woo went on to say, "An engagement ring is not just a piece of jewelry, it's a daily reminder of your style and shared future. It's okay to want that symbol to resonate with you, and this does not make you an ungrateful person." But here's an important point, she noted, if you never told him what you like, the blame is partially on you.
The decision to break up over an engagement ring is very specific to each couple.
If you are deeply in love with your partner and you know he loves you, a little bit of communication and emotional connection can easily fix a bad ring. Rings can always be resized and redesigned. Dr. Woo explained, "It's crucial to approach the topic with care. Avoid asking questions that put your partner on the defense, such as, 'Why would you pick this one?!' or 'What made you think I would like this?'"
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To avoid this nightmare scenario entirely, many women opt to go with their partners to pick out the ring themselves, while leaving the actual proposal a surprise. This way, they can give direct guidance and ensure that they’ll be getting a ring they don’t despise. My Diamond Ring stated that 62% of couples choose to go ring shopping together.
If the only issue you have is with the ring itself, it is worth having a meaningful discussion with your partner to ensure that he truly gets you, especially if he is planning on marrying you! However, if the ring is symbolic of deeper issues in your relationship and highlights an emotional disconnect and disregard, it might be time to reevaluate if you're in it for the long haul.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
