Wife Asks If Husband’s Good Relationship With Her Sister Is ‘How Betrayal Actually Begins’
Isn't it a good thing when in laws get along?
Giorgio Trovato | Unsplash A wife turned to Reddit for advice because she said the relationship between her husband and her younger sister is starting to make her feel uncomfortable. From inside jokes to late-night texts, something is making her feel off. Of course, her husband and sister both said she is being "jealous and dramatic," but sometimes it's important to trust your gut, especially in matters of the heart.
Of course, jealousy can make you think and act irrationally, but this isn't a woman who is in a new relationship. They've been married for two years, and she would know when things aren't right.
A wife is worried that her husband's good relationship with her younger sister is 'how betrayal actually starts.'
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock
She explained that they’ve been married for two years and that everything had been going well so far, at least until her little sister started spending more time in their home. She wrote, "At first, I was happy to have her around it made our home feel warmer. But now, something feels wrong."
Apparently, her husband and her sister have grown close. They share inside jokes and even text late at night. “Sometimes, when we go out,” the wife wrote, “they walk ahead together, laughing, while I trail behind.” She went on to confess, "It feels like I’m watching my own husband forget I exist."
The wife tried to talk to her husband about her feelings, but he brushed it off.
Thankfully, instead of just stewing in her discomfort, she actually tried to talk to her husband about her feelings. Unfortunately, it fell on deaf ears.
“He told me I was being jealous and dramatic,” she wrote. Adding, "My sister said the same that I was reading too much into things. But I can’t shake this feeling. It’s like they have a secret world that doesn’t include me."
Things came to a head, however, when she caught her sister wearing her husband's clothes. She wrote, "The moment that broke me was when I saw my sister wearing his hoodie. She laughed when I asked about it and said, 'He told me I could borrow it.' I smiled on the outside, but inside, I felt something snap."
Although she turned to Reddit for advice, fearing that she was imagining drama where there wasn't any, commenters were quick to have her back. As one commenter noted, "Your instincts are probably picking up on something that doesn’t feel right, and it’s okay to trust that feeling. Emotional boundaries can blur long before physical ones do, and the way they’re acting around each other would make anyone uncomfortable."
Another wrote, "They've both already completely crossed the line by repeatedly prioritizing each other over you and disregarding you completely. It's not okay. It's already been ongoing emotional betrayal and blatant disrespect by both your husband and sister." They added, "The fact that it makes you uncomfortable and upset, is more than enough reason for both of them to listen, apologize, and immediately stop, once made aware of your feelings."
The signs of betrayal start long before a partner cheats.
According to Heron Ridge Associates of Michigan, a group of mental health professionals, the signs of betrayal often start showing up before a partner even cheats. That's why trusting your gut in these instances is so important. It's the jumping-off point to start looking a little more closely at their behavior.
This wife knows her husband, so if she feels a change in him, that means something is happening. If he's turning to her sister for communication instead of his own wife, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are sleeping together, but it does mean he is looking elsewhere to have his emotional needs met.
Although she tried to communicate her concerns to her husband, Psychologist Leon F. Seltzer explained that it's not always as simple as sitting the person down and talking. He said, “Be sure to share your disappointment or sadness in a way that steers clear of guilting or blaming them.”
Regardless of whether her husband and sister have crossed the line in terms of fidelity, the fact is that this wife is feeling insecure in her marriage, and that means there is a problem. It almost doesn't matter if the problem is actual cheating or not. She needs to let him know how hurt she is. If he still chooses to deflect and ignore the situation, that's all the proof she needs that he isn't prioritizing her as a partner.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
