People Who Do These 4 Risky Things Are Dangerously Close To Cheating
It’s not just "harmless fun" — these habits are flirting with disaster.
Claudiu Hegedus | Unsplash Some people cheat, but why do people cheat? Whether they’re destined to be cheaters or cheating for some other reason, there will always be people who find it difficult to be faithful to their partners.
Maybe you’re one of them, or maybe not. But are you ever really sure? Most of these things start innocently, but before you know it, you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole.
There are certain habits that relationship experts say are typical of people who tend to end up cheating on their partners. If you or your partner is engaging in any of them, you might want to take a long look in the mirror and consider why you’re behaving this way.
People who do these 4 risky things are dangerously close to cheating:
1. You complain constantly
You know the type: nothing is ever quite good enough for them, and there’s always something to nitpick. But if you’re never satisfied with anything, at some point you’re not going to be satisfied with your relationship, either. And when you’re unhappy, you’re more likely to be tempted to stray.
Even more toxic is complaining about your partner to others. Telling your girlfriends every little thing he does that ticks you off, or griping to his family about his workaholic habits, isn’t just mean, it’s a betrayal of trust.
2. You take a lot of risks
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People who have affairs are all about the drama. To keep things interesting, they tend to be very willing to take risks, including cheating on a partner and risking getting caught.
Psychologist Ildiko Tabori says that serial cheaters “prefer to ride an emotional roller coaster rather than find joy in emotional stability... [cheaters] get an adrenaline rush from the figurative bumps and bruises that cause strife and turmoil with their significant other.”
Not only are cheaters risk-takers, but they’re also opportunistic. They tend to be very calculating, seeking out situations where they may have a chance to play around. “One is more likely to cheat when the opportunity arises — not simply when they are away from their significant other, but when the opportunity to prey upon a potential mate presents itself,” warns Dr. Tabori.
3. You keep your needs bottled up
One thing that can lead to unhappiness in your relationship, which then could lead to cheating, is failing to tell your partner what you want. Do you wish you could spice things up in the bedroom but are afraid to broach the subject with your partner? Are you feeling lonely and wishing for more connection, but don’t know how to fix it, so you clam up and say nothing?
A 2017 study of motivations for cheating showed that many men cheat because they are looking for variety. While women cheat because they want to feel desired. Here’s an idea: maybe if we just told each other what we wanted, we wouldn’t feel so compelled to cheat.
4. You lie, even about small things
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If you’ve told your partner a few little lies in the past and gotten away with it, you’re more likely to keep upping the ante.
There’s a difference between telling your partner that you didn’t notice he’d gained some weight (when really, you did notice) and telling him you were running errands when you were really meeting an old boyfriend for a drink. The first lie is one meant to protect his feelings, while the second is to prevent oneself from having an uncomfortable confrontation.
But it might not even matter what type of lie it is or what your motivation is. A study in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology suggests that people who tell little lies are more likely to deceive their partners about bigger things, too.
So next time you’re tempted to spare your partner's feelings or avoid a fight, maybe it’s best just to be honest. While you’re at it, speak up about what you want, settle down and stop taking risks, and try to curb the temptation to complain as much. It might just save your relationship from infidelity.
Elizabeth Laura Nelson is a Commerce Editor for First For Women and Woman's World. Her work has been featured on Elite Daily, MamaMia, SheSaid, and more.
