Why Guys Say They'll Call And Then Don't

It's so confusing when a man says he'll call and then he doesn't, but the reason is usually pretty obvious if you think about it.

Last updated on Aug 02, 2023

woman looking at her phone waiting for a guy to call khoamartin / Shutterstock

Have you ever had a man tell you that he had a great time and he'd call you?

Over the next couple of days, you wait with nervous excitement for the phone to ring. Each time it rings you jump, grab the phone, check the caller, and feel a huge sense of disappointment as you realize it's not him.

As the days pass you go over the time you spent with him in your mind to look for answers as to why he's not calling.


Well, I have the answer, there's a clear reason he's not calling. Contrary to what you might be thinking, the odds are he didn't lose your number and he isn't lying in the hospital in a coma.

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Three honest reasons men say they will call and then don't

1. He's simply not interested in you.

I know this may be hard to understand, especially after the great time you had on your date, But if he isn't calling, it's a sign another date with you is simply not important to him. For whatever reason, seeing you again is not at the top of his priority list.

2. He's only interested in sex.

Believe it or not, there are some men out there who are only interested in sex. These types of men have an uncanny sense of recognizing which women they can get into bed very quickly and which ones require too much effort.

Growing up, a lot of men were taught there are girls you take home to meet mom and there are girls you don't.

No matter how you may feel about this statement, you can't deny it exists. If a guy is only interested in sex and he doesn't call you back, it's because he knows it requires too much time and energy to get you into bed. He will simply move on to finding someone who is much more willing to have sex.


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3. He's emotionally unavailable.

One of the most common questions I'm asked is, "Why didn't he call?" My answer is always: "Because he's emotionally unavailable."It's easier to lie and tell a woman what she wants to hear than it is to look her in the face, be vulnerable, and tell her the truth. Unfortunately, many men lack the vulnerability to tell a woman the truth.

It's true, some men don't know how to treat women.

In general, human beings often have a hard time being honest with each other, especially if they know what they will say is going to hurt someone. Instead of being honest, we tend to lie or avoid contact with that person.


The next time a guy doesn't call when he says he will, and you're asking yourself "Why?" refer to this list. Don't waste any more of your energy trying to figure it out, and simply say to yourself, "Next!"

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Joe Amoia is a relationship coach who writes helpful dating advice for women.