9 Very Concerning Warning Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship

If you notice these red flags, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

A diverse stylish couple is in the car hanging out and bonding in the parking lot. bbernard | Shutterstock

No relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its ups and downs, from petty fights to occasionally sleeping on the couch.

However, if you are feeling more negative about your relationship than positive, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and see if you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship that you need to get out of.

To help, here are nine signs of a toxic relationship that can deeply affect your emotional, mental, and/or physical health.


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Here are 9 very concerning warning signs you're in a toxic relationship:

1. You don’t trust your partner

Trust is the key to any respectful romantic relationship. When you choose to trust your partner, you are giving them your heart and you are put in an extremely vulnerable position. You understand that there is a huge risk when trusting your partner, because if they break your heart it may never be fixed.

There is so much respect in mutually trusting relationships as both partners open themselves up to one another and allow the other one in. If you are having trust issues with your partner, there is more than likely questionable behavior in the relationship that needs to be evaluated.


2. They make you more sad than happy

This is a big one. While you shouldn’t rely on your significant other for all of your happiness (only you can control your perspective and decisions in life) your partner should make your life better, not worse.

If you dread your partner walking through the door daily, then you know that it may be time to either take a break, try to work on things, or call it quits. Your partner may not make all of your dreams come true, but they should love, support, and help you through hard times.

3. Your partner keeps score

If your partner keeps track of every mistake that you make, they are more than likely trying to mask their behavior by having all your misdeeds stored in their back pocket every time they make a mistake.

Additionally, every time you try to bring up something serious or perhaps if you want to compromise with them on something, they will use your misdeeds to their advantage too.




They want to get out of everything and get their way, so they use your weaknesses for their gain.

This isn’t how healthy communication works and you may need to either seek counseling or break things off, otherwise, you will be stuck in a relationship based on poor communication.

RELATED: Why This One Petty Behavior Ruins Relationships


4. They are keeping secrets from you

I will say this again: When you can’t trust your partner, your relationship will fail. Trust is everything!

When you have a lack of trust for your partner, either you have trust issues from other life factors or you have a good reason not to trust them based on their behavior.

If you aren’t sure, it might be wise to have a conversation with your partner and let them know how you feel and why. If they start acting shady, such as they can’t look you in the eye, you might need to question their loyalty.

In this day and age, it’s pretty easy to find out if your partner is hiding stuff from you. One of the most common ways to tell if your partner is cheating is by knowing who they are calling often. If you see a phone number that is calling your partner often (or who your partner is calling often) it may be wise to use a reverse cell phone lookup service on the phone number in question. To do this, check your significant other’s phone bill or call log to see who they are calling.


Some other ways to check if your partner is being unfaithful are to look at their website history, check their bank accounts for unfamiliar purchases, and look on popular dating apps such as Tinder to see if they have a dating profile.

5. Your partner is controlling

A loving partner is not a controlling partner. You are your person, with your own needs and aspirations. If your partner tries to control you, you know that the time is up for your relationship.

If your partner cares far more about their happiness and little about what makes you happy, they are a narcissist and there is little you can do to change that person. Time to hit the road and let someone else deal with your controlling partner.

6. You don’t help each other grow

The best partners challenge each other. They share their feelings maturely, they talk about their opinions. They call out each other’s flaws. They grow with one another.




If you and your partner aren’t helping each other grow, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is over. What your relationship does need is some reevaluation. Can you guys work together to change your habits and help each other grow in the right direction? This is the important question that you need to ask each other.

7. The relationship is self-centered

This is similar to #5 because a controlling partner is usually a self-centered one. They care little about your feelings and worry more about themselves. Self-centered partners also think they are better than their significant other and that their partner needs to do everything how they do things. There is no improvising with self-centered people.

If you are in a relationship with a self-centered partner, it is time to take a bow. Of course, you can stick around if you don’t mind being in your partner’s shadow.


Self-centered partners will try to do everything to make people follow in their footsteps and be in their shadows. They can even turn aggressive and perhaps put their loved ones in compromising positions to get their way.

Don’t take the risk and try to “change” your self-centered partner.

RELATED: Why So Many Incredible Women Are Drawn To Selfish & Narcissistic Men

8. They are abusive

When a person truly loves someone, they will not abuse them. If you are being abused, It is a clear sign that your relationship will never be healthy. The longer you stay with your abusive partner, the more risk you are taking. Many, many, bad outcomes can come from you staying in an abusive relationship. Get out as fast as you can, your abusive partner will never change.


9. You can’t leave the house without your partner starting a fight

I’m sure that if you are currently in a controlling relationship, your partner won’t let you do anything. Either that or a huge fight starts every time you visit a friend or family member.

If this is your current relationship, this behavior isn’t healthy. By now, perhaps your friendships and family relationships are suffering. Maybe even your career is affected if you have one still.

This isn’t normal, this isn’t what love should feel like. This high level of controlling behavior is most definitely abusive.


What real love looks like:

The bond between partners is vastly changing. Real relationships revolve around mutual respect, understanding, and transparency.

Unfortunately, temptations are surrounding us everywhere. With an internet connection and the click of a button, lines can now be crossed without anyone knowing. Fewer morals are leading to more slip-ups and an increasing level of selfishness.

If you are a loyal and loving person who can be trusted, be very wary of who you are dating. Negative people are good at finding good people such as yourself that they can take advantage of. Always be wary when you first start dating someone. If you are seeing someone and you notice any of the above signs, it might be time to break ties.

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, you’re not alone.


The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that approximately 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the U.S. More than 12 million women and men over the years have suffered from instances of domestic violence and abuse.

If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help.

There are ways to go about asking for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. For anyone struggling with domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.

RELATED: 14 Signs You're In Denial About How Your Toxic Relationship Is


Wyatt Doolittle is an author who built the National Cellular Directory into a brand that makes the world more transparent.