11 Devastating Signs You Broke His Heart
Think he's fine? These signs of true heartbreak say otherwise.
SB Arts Media | Shutterstock There's ego bruising. There's disappointment. And then there's full-on heartbreak — the kind that lingers long after the relationship ends. If you are wondering if you broke his heart, there are several devastating signs to look for.
If you broke his heart, you'll see it in his behavior. The way he talks, acts, posts online, and even how he takes care of himself (or doesn't). Maybe you let him down gently, or maybe it ended in flames. Whether you meant to or not, there are plenty of signs you broke his heart, even though you may not have intended to. Either way, he’s taking it hard, and the signs are hard to miss.
Here are 11 devastating signs you broke his heart:
1. He avoids you completely
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Does he avoid you, or wherever you might be? Has he stopped going to places just in case you might be there? Has he told you, or have your mutual friends told you, that he can't see you and is avoiding you? That reaction isn't just dramatic — according to research, people with avoidant attachment often cope with heartbreak by pulling away entirely, even avoiding new connections too. He's broken.
2. He keeps asking for another chance
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If he's still asking for you to come back and he sounds desperate or pleads, he is so completely crushed. Psychological research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that those with anxious attachment often keep pushing to get back together after a breakup because they’re trying to fix their emotional foundation.
3. He acts cold and distant around you
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Let's say you two are ending things or fighting. Or, let's say he runs into you, whether you have broken up or are fighting, and he's like ice. He's acting that way to protect himself. He's either majorly mad or completely broken — or both.
4. He straight up tells you he's heartbroken
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A man usually says what he means and means what he says, despite how a woman tries to interpret or dissect it. So, if he goes out of his way to tell you how badly you've hurt him instead of letting his pride suck in his feelings like men often do, you've broken his heart completely.
5. He hasn't dated anyone since you
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Do your friends say he's "sworn off women"? Is he looking at all women like they're she-devils? You did it. You crushed his soul. Studies show that when someone stays single and avoids moving on, they often get stuck in heartbreak and struggle to heal.
6. He's suddenly dating a ton of people
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The man who runs to fifty million women to fulfill his needs is either a total gigolo or a needy man looking to mask his pain. If he's dating anyone and everyone, even women that you know in a million years he would never date, he's trying to use physical experiences with women as a coping method to get over you. It's not a good look or a healthy choice.
7. His social media is a depressing mess
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Your friends saw his most recent cynical or depressed social media post. Each one is more sad-sack or negative than the other. He's become "King of the Women Haters" since you hurt him. Research suggests that repeatedly posting or scrolling about an ex can keep someone stuck in heartbreak longer, and heavy social media use is linked with more depression and anxiety.
8. He's obsessive about going to the gym now
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All he does is bench press and CrossFit his way to feeling better about the way you smashed his ego and heart. He's become a gym fanatic even if, when you knew him, his only physical mode was squatting on and off the couch to grab snacks.
That might seem extreme, but according to research published on Yale News, after a breakup, many people find comfort in working out hard, or trading "heartbreak for heart rates". Research shows that high-intensity exercise can release endorphins, which help ease emotional pain and lift your spirits.
9. He's overindulging
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Your friends escorted him out of the bar. You spotted him, and he looked like he had been going a bit too hard on the burgers. If he's engaging in any behavior "too much," he's using it to cope.
10. He's always angry when he talks to you
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Every time you two happen to engage, whether it's a brief passing by or a conversation, he's so mad that you can feel his wrath. You know it's because he's hurting more than he can handle.
11. He's withdrawn from everything and everyone
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You hear he's not socializing anymore. He's lost weight. He's not talking to mutual friends. His depression is a clear indicator of serious heartbreak, and studies show that loneliness and depression often lead to major weight loss and social withdrawal after emotional trauma.
Laura Lifshitz writes about divorce, relationships, women's issues, and parenting for the New York Times, Women's Health, Working Mother, PopSugar, and more.
