5 Rules For Being The Other Woman

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Many women who become involved in an extramarital affair with a married man as the other woman do so thinking the heart simply wants what it wants and true love cannot be helped. Unfortunately, they often learn the hard way that married men are highly unlikely to ever leave their wives for their mistresses, and that the fairytale will probably feel more like a nightmare by the time it ends.

And end it probably will.

Any woman who knowingly chooses to be the other woman is not a victim, and that's the first thing she should know before taking that path.

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But there are some other rules to consider before being part of an affair.

5 Rules for Being the Other Woman

1. Don't define yourself as a victim.

Victims do not have power over their situations. Victims do not knowingly inflict pain on others. Victims are children who are ignored and women who are cheated on and a lot of other things. But if you are the other woman, you are not a victim. You are part of the problem.

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2. Don't believe his promises.

A married man may make you all kinds of promises, but of course, after you quit your job and give up stability in return for what he promises to offer, he's more like to end up quitting you. Don't believe a man who is dishonest enough to cheat on his primary partner. If he's lying to her, he's probably lying to you, too.

3. Don't derail your life for him.

If you're the other woman, you should not plan your life around the two-timing man you're involved with. You should not, as some mistresses do, quit your job think he will take care of you. You should not relocate for him. And you should not give up the other things in your life that are important to you.

After all, he wouldn't.

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4. Don't expect him to derail his life for you.

Many times, the other woman thinks the married man she's involved with will their wife and start a new life with her. They think they will them live a happy life that involves romance and kids and all good things. But these women should know better.

There are very few advantages to a man leaving his secure life for someone who's proven herself to have questionable morals.

5. Don't announce your affair to the world.

Really, if you want to maintain some level of respect in the public eye (or, in the very least, in eyes of your friends and family and colleagues), you will not sully your name or someone else's just because you're behaving badly.

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Kristen Meinzer is a Brooklyn-based writer and associate producer who was raised in Minneapolis, MN. Her work has appeared in a number of print and online publications, as well as on The Discovery Channel, The History Channel, VH1, WE, and WNYC Public Radio.