3 Painfully Honest Reasons Men Leave The Women They Love

It's not always a fear of commitment that sends them packing.

sad girl sitting alone on her bed Motortion / Getty Images via Canva

It's devastating when a guy leaves you and you don't know why. You can spend months, sometimes even years, trying to figure it out while you learn how to deal with a breakup.

But when you dwell on the past, it's worse than him leaving. This thinking keeps you bonded to him and prevents you from meeting someone else.

While many women may think a fear of commitment causes the men they love to leave them, there are a few other reasons. And most of them have to do with you.


RELATED: The 4 Most Common Reasons Why Men Leave Good Women

Here are 3 painfully honest reasons why men leave the women they love:

1. You ask for more, better or different

This is a tough one because you may feel that you're only taking care of yourself and your needs, which is great. But when you're consistently asking a guy for more, better, and different, you're giving him the impression that he can't please you and that what he does isn't enough.

When a guy says to you, "I can't please you. I'm letting you go to find someone who can," you've touched this wound. Whether it's right or wrong, this is often the number one reason why men leave.


You still get to ask for what you want and say no to what you don't, but the remedy is improving your communication with him. And ultimately, if he can't treat you right, the breakup may be a blessing in disguise. 

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2. You become his mother

Once you get on the road of telling him what to do, you're on your way to becoming his mother. If you've been taught that love means taking care of other people and their needs, you may find yourself picking up after him, fixing his problems, and, in extreme cases, paying his bills.



Another danger is that he may like it and he'll let you do everything for him like his mother did. You may end up with a sexless relationship and he finally leaves because men are not turned on by their mothers.


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3. He's still a boy

Sometimes, with no effort on your part, you just inherit a guy who's still a boy

He hasn't learned (hopefully) from his mother that women, children, animals, and the planet are not here for his gratification. He hasn't learned to give, protect, and cherish women, children, animals, and the planet which is often why guys leave you when the going gets rough.

He is only interested in what feels good in the moment and instant gratification. In a nutshell, you have a (dare I say it?) Peter Pan.



I can't tell you every reason why guys leave you, but I can tell you this: We're always attracted to the right or wrong person until we learn the lesson. He who leaves first without learning the lesson repeats the lesson. And you know you've learned the lesson when you no longer want to repeat the lesson.


For your part, watch out for asking for more better or different, and see what he willingly gives. Men fall in love when they give. If he doesn't care about your feelings and leaves you with no explanation, he's not your man — he's someone else's boy.

RELATED: Why Men Leave Women They Love — From A Man Who Stayed Too Long

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."