Man Admits He ‘Found Comfort’ In His Wife’s Twin Sister After She Passed Away Suddenly — ‘It’s Become A Regular Thing’
They’re finding it easier to cope with the loss together.
Halfpoint, Lukas Rychvalsky / CanvaPro Grief is a messy, chaotic, and often all-encompassing journey to navigate. Whether it be an unexpected heartbreak, the loss of a partner, or dealing with the death of a parent — coping mechanisms can help us to make sense of a relentlessly scary time.
Some people choose to see a therapist, others rely on their friends and loved ones, and some take even more “unconventional” routes. While everyone has their unique opinions on what works and what doesn’t, the nature of grief requires people to find relief.
One man on Reddit who lost his wife in a tragic accident just eight months ago found his relief in an unexpected way — or rather, in an unexpected person.
After his wife passed away, the man started an ‘intimate relationship’ with her twin sister, arguing it was a means for them ‘to cope’ with her passing.
"My wife passed away in a horrific car accident eight months ago leaving myself and our 3-year-old daughter behind," he explained. "I was far too depressed to do anything much less care for my daughter properly so my sister-in-law (her twin sister) essentially moved in to help out."
After helping to support each other emotionally, he admitted that one night, things got out of hand. “One thing led to another,” he wrote, and a month after his wife's passing, they ended up being physically intimate.
Despite both feeling ‘guilty’ the first time they were physically intimate, the pair continues to maintain their relationship.
“At first, we both felt nauseated with guilt but soon came to realize that it was helping us both to cope,” he claimed. The only person who knew his wife to the degree that he did was her twin sister — and they found solace in knowing they shared that love for her.
Despite the initial feeling of discomfort that intimacy created, the pair realized that their actions and relationship were helping them both cope. "She’s so much like my wife that when I’m with her, I’m able to kind of forget what happened," he wrote. “It's temporary relief, but relief nonetheless.”
Both of them had just experienced an insurmountable loss — one that’s altered their lives forever. Of course, they’re yearning for connection and companionship to cope with the void that their loss has created. “She grew to believe that she was doing a good thing by helping me cope and be a better father to my daughter,” he continued. “It’s been a regular thing up until now.”
Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
They’ve both kept the ‘relationship’ private — planning to end things once they’re ‘ready to move on.’
The man admitted that they've kept their relationship a secret from everyone else in their family — afraid that it could “tear them apart” despite being a temporary fix.
“I feel obviously conflicted about it,” he shared. “But it’s helped me ... and I have been a better father/member of society since we began. I don’t know if I’m prepared to stop.”
Commenters attacked the man straight away for sleeping with his wife’s sister just a month after her passing — even though they regretted it at first. Most comments followed a similar narrative, naming betrayal and shock at the physical intimacy of their relationship whilst ignoring the complex conversation about emotional support, grief, and coping that runs alongside it.
While many were worried about the well-being of his daughter, the truth is that it’s benefitting the two of them right now. If grief can be healed with a temporary relationship — one that promotes vulnerability, open conversations, and a healing environment — could it be completely horrible?
Coping with grief is an incredibly unique process for everyone. Despite the ‘shock value’ of their relationship, these two still deserve grace and kindness as they heal.
Grief is something that you can never truly understand until you go through it — especially when dealing with the loss of a loved one who held such an integral place in your life. Your heart and brain have trouble staying aligned as you try to navigate life alongside the void of your special person.
So, when we think about coping mechanisms and dealing with that kind of overwhelming grief, there’s no one prescriptive rule. Regardless of how you choose to cope, grief changes you.
Many commenters were relentless about the “inappropriate” nature of this relationship, especially with a young child involved. Though he clarified that his daughter is entirely uninvolved, many Redditors berated him, suggesting he was dealing with his grief in “the wrong way.”
“This is not healthy,” one commenter wrote. “You should be coping with your wife’s loss elsewhere.” But what does “healthy” really mean? For some, that might mean “lacing up your shoes” and exercising, even when your energy has been sucked out by grief.
While exercise seems like a relatively “healthy” coping mechanism, this kind of healing doesn’t take one simple form. Rather, it follows a vague set of boundaries that fixate on one question: What helps you to take care of yourself, both in the present moment and the future?
So, while there are definitely some valid concerns about this unconventional relationship, its value to this man’s grieving process (and that of her twin sister) is completely up to them to decide. It might just be the support they both need to show up for themselves and the people who love them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.