5 Low-Key Signs Two People Are Having An Affair

Become a pro at figuring out who’s cheating.

two people looking at each other hugging dekazigzag/ Shutterstock

Did you watch God Forbid on Hulu yet? If you haven’t, oh my goodness, you need to. It’s a movie about the affair threesome that Evangelical godhead Jerry Falwell Jr. had with his wife and a pool boy — and it’s juicy AF.

Aside from being a reminder of why you never mess around with conservatives, it got me thinking. Most people around the Falwells had to have seen Giancarlo Granda (the pool boy) and thought that there was something odd going on, right?


I mean, it’s a couple in their 50s with a barely-20-year-old man in tow. How could no one notice that they were all in the cuckolding scene? It was then I realized that most people can’t pick up on affairs as they should.

These particular signs tend to slip under the radar for most people, but they’re glaringly obvious to more observant people.

Here are 5 low-key signs two people are having an affair:

1. They give each other "The Look"

You know that look, right? It’s that look that is fleeting — rarely ever lasts more than a second. It’s part smirk, part knowing nod and part secretive affection.


The best way I can describe it is that it’s a look of seeking approval while knowing you have that approval.

While body language itself is technically a pseudoscience, I can’t help but notice that this seems to be a fairly reliable indicator that something’s going on between the sheets.

RELATED: Before You Have An Affair, Remember This Anecdote

2. Something about their dynamic doesn’t add up

So, this is a sign I primarily notice around people who work together, but it can also happen in other situations.

I knew a girl who was cheating with a coworker. The two of them should have been best buddies — at least, at first glance. They were both people who had similar attitudes, similar interests and they both looked good. They looked like Barbie and Ken.


At work, they acted icy toward each other. Sometimes, they’d play up how much they "hated" each other. To everyone watching this, it didn’t add up.

Or rather, it added up about as well as the boss that refuses to fire a woman despite her not doing work well. In this case, favoritism often doesn’t make sense without a little roll in the hay happening from time to time.

Generally speaking, people do not hide affairs as well as they think. If their dynamic doesn’t make sense at face value, you might want to ask why.

If they seem too icy, unusually favorite-y, or overly professional around each other, it could be an affair.

RELATED: Who Your Spouse Is Most Likely To Have An Affair With — And Why


3. Their finances or possessions are oddly intertwined

I remember realizing that my friend was having an affair with her coworker when her coworker asked her if she needed grocery money this week. They don’t live together, so why is he paying her bills?

In most cases, this is a sign that they are hanging out together so much that they both benefit from pooling resources.

4. For one reason or another, the two always end up being left alone together

A good friend of mine knew her husband was cheating on her when she noticed that he’d "go dark" around the same time her best friend would vanish. Surprise! They were alone together, doing the deed.

In the office, this often means that the two "work spouses" tend to be the last ones to leave at the party. Or one of them will be so kind as to always drive the other back to the office, who oddly enough, never takes their car.


When I was watching God Forbid, Giancarlo made a point of talking about how it was an ongoing joke among the Falwell family that Becki Falwell (the woman he was screwing) would always go missing with him while Jerry Falwell would distract the kids.

It became such a huge trope in the family, the family actually used to wear "Where’s Becki" shirts.

RELATED: 15 Telltale Signs He's Cheating On You, According To Cheaters

5. One (or both) party is unusually flirty with the other

A lot of people (myself included) cannot help but get touchy-feely when they start banging someone new.


If one person is playing grab-a** with the other or putting a hand on their thigh suggestively, it’s either a sexual harassment case or a sign of something going on.

This is doubly true if the person seems unusually insulted that the other individual won’t return their affections — as if they are used to seeing that kind of reciprocation behind closed doors.

Does this always mean they’re banging? No, but where there’s smoke, there’s often fire.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Cheating On Your Spouse Is A Truly Terrible Idea

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.