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Husband Says His Wife Should Give Up On Her Dream Because She's 'Infinitely More Useful Cooking And Cleaning'

Photo: DimaBerlin / Shutterstock
mom on phone while son tries to get her attention

Plenty of people have found fame through social media. It’s become a legitimate career for many, however, it doesn’t work for everyone. One woman who wasn’t successful had to have an uncomfortable conversation with her husband about her priorities.

A man shared that he told his wife she needed to focus more on cooking and cleaning than becoming an Instagram influencer.

In a since-deleted Reddit post, an anonymous 39-year-old husband asked if he was wrong for telling his 36-year-old wife that "she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning than chasing her dream" of becoming a social media star.

The man explained that he and his wife have two sons — a 5 and a 3-year-old. When his youngest was just a year old, his wife became “interested in making some money off of Instagram.” 

   

   

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“I thought it was a fine idea as she was home during the day and couldn’t work because our younger son was still too small,” he wrote. "We're fortunate that I make enough money to support our lifestyle comfortably, and I encouraged her to go for it."

However, becoming an influencer hasn’t quite worked out the way she expected it to. “Unfortunately,” he shared, “in her past two years as an Instagram influencer, she has not made a single cent.”

In her quest to become an influencer, the man’s wife cycled through multiple different forms of content. “Her earlier attempts for gaining followers were for postpartum fitness, and since she knows nothing about fitness, that went nowhere,” he said. “She moved on to doing makeup tutorials, which similarly fell flat, likely because there are a billion such channels out there. Then she jumped onto this slice-of-life train, where she would make videos talking about her day, but, to be frank, they were all pretty boring, and failed to attract any attention.”

Though he initially supported his wife's ambitions, his approval has waned quite a bit in the two years since she began — and he shared exactly why. “The issue isn’t that she’s trying,” he said. “The issue is that she spends the overwhelming majority of her waking hours on Instagram, and skirts her household responsibilities.”

   

   

The man explained that he does everything to take care of the children and the house, waking up at 5:00 a.m. to do so. His wife, on the other hand, can’t be bothered to do anything. 

“She wakes up at 7:45, usually later because she was up late on Instagram, lies down on the sofa as I do everything, and while I’m at work, she works on her Instagram more,” he claimed. "Any attempt to get her to do something is met with complaining."

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Finally, everything became too much for the husband to handle when he came home from work to find "a complete disaster zone," with dirty dishes, unwashed laundry and messes everywhere.

“I finally got fed up with her,” he revealed. “I snapped at her and told her that her Instagram is going nowhere, and that I’ve put up with it for two years longer than I should have, and that she would be infinitely more useful cooking and cleaning.”

His wife did not react well. “She got this horrified look on her face and walked away,” he said. “She went into the bedroom, naturally looking at her phone, and left me to deal with everything that night.”

   

   

Most commenters on Reddit were on the man’s side, although several noted he could have worded his message with more care. As one user wrote, “Could you have worded it better or been more tactful? Sure, but I get how you would just kind of snap in the moment.”

How hard is it to become an influencer?

It may seem easy to become a social media influencer. All you have to do is take nice photos and videos, right? Not so, said Sofie Hagen, a comedian who wrote about her experience trying to become an influencer for the Guardian

“It’s a full-time job, not an easy side hustle,” she said. “I find myself desperately clinging to my job as a comedian and trying to merge the two.”

According to Nasdaq, Ryan Hilliard, who works for influencer analytics company HypeAuditor, said that “less than 1%” are able to become successful, full-time influencers. 

   

   

So, while this man’s wife had good intentions and high hopes, it may be time for her to find a new goal, separate from becoming a social media influencer.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.