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How come men never pick up the phone and actually call to ask anyone out anymore?
By Cupids Pulse — Last updated on Apr 07, 2023
“Wanna go out tonight? ” may be a simple text that most men feel is harmless, but it’s something that drives women nuts.
What happened to the days of in-person conversations, or perhaps picking up the phone and calling, so you can get to know people, hear their voices, and truly sense how they are feeling?
It seems that texting is no longer a trend and has become the social norm, and it is getting on the nerves of women everywhere! Which leaves us wondering, “Why do men text instead of call?” So Cupid did some digging, and we have come up with some answers.
Here are 5 harsh reasons men never pick up the phone — only text:
1. It’s quick and easy
If it comes to simple things like what time the two of you are meeting up, or where to go for dinner, shooting off a text takes a lot less time and effort than an actual phone call.
Julie Spira, the creator of Cyber-Dating Expert, agreed with this idea, saying that many men are busy executives and don’t have time to hold an over-the-phone conversation. Sending a text takes less than a minute.
Also, it takes away some of the pressure of having to come up with a plan instantly, since through texting, you have time to sit and think about what to type, as opposed to an awkward silence over the phone.
2. They are copying women
A few men gave their opinions on why they opt to text nowadays rather than call, and a common response we received was that they are simply following what they see women do.
Dan Nainan, a comedian/actor, claims that it seems like the only way to ask women out is through text messaging, because no one wants to talk on the phone anymore.
So, if guys are copying what they are seeing, maybe women need to stop sending the wrong message and start picking up the phone once in a while instead of sending a text.
3. Fear of rejection
Just like women, men fear rejection, and what’s more embarrassing than making the effort to pick up the phone and call a girl, just to be turned down? Many women seem to forget how intimidating dating is, especially for guys.
Dr. Zach Hill explained that “Dating can be intimidating, and hiding behind the ’screen’ of a cell phone makes conversations less intimidating. Telephone calls with someone you are not comfortable with just yet are just as intimidating.
When you text someone, you have time to think about what you are going to say, how you are going to word it, and the advantage of looking it over to make sure everything sounds right. Whereas when you make a phone call, you are put on the spot so to speak, and the idea of fumbling with your words, saying the wrong thing, speaking too fast or slow, or any other option that may make you appear like an “idiot” is much more probable.” I guess when you see it from this perspective, women can get a sense of why men text instead of call.
4. They don’t know it bothers you
If you allow men to continue texting, and you don’t say anything about it, then why would they feel anything needs to change?
There are easy ways to get your point across, without being too direct. Carole Lieberman M.D, a psychiatrist, says that in order to have your guy call instead of text, simply respond to their text with something cute like, “Hey, would love to hear your voice, give me a call ”. This will give men the confidence to pick up the phone and actually call.
5. Men think it’s ok to text
Because texting has become such a common part of everyday life, men have started to think it’s fine to just text women instead of calling.
Dave Grossman, of CanoodleOnline, says that “In this era of text messaging, men have decided it’s OK to text the women they are dating,” and he even admits to doing this himself, but has now become more cautious of it. It’s hard to break a habit that has become a part of everyday life, so women need to try and break men from this habit by showing them how much more personal a phone call can be.
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Melissa Tierney is a freelance writer and editor who uses her dating expertise to help others find love.