10 Texts You Should Never Send To Your Man (Like, Ever)

Texting is the easiest way to stay in touch with someone you're dating. If you have a hard time keeping things in the draft, read on.

Last updated on Apr 01, 2023

woman in nightgown texting from bed Juan Pablo Olaya Celis/ Shutterstock

I completely understand the lure of technology, and how easy it is to shoot off a text as opposed to picking up the phone and talking. But it’s a problem that we’ve become so dependent on technology and gotten lazy with the way we communicate our most important thoughts and feelings.

People shouldn’t be dealing with major arguments and problems through texts or getting passive-aggressive or angry in what becomes a silly texting showdown. Below are the ten text messages to never send to someone you’re dating. Like, ever.


Here are 10 texts you should never send to your man — like ever:

1. "Why are you mad at me?" 

If he truly is angry with you, it's not something you're going to effectively sort out through a texting match. Odds are one or both of you will end up feeling angrier if you send or respond to this kind of text. If you're moderately angry, do it over the phone; if it's a major issue, wait to meet in person to deal with it.


RELATED: 15 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never, Ever Ignore

2. "Why aren't you responding to me? Are you not into me anymore?”

If you are in a position with someone where you're feeling insecure, sending texts that don't get returned will make you feel worse: more insecure, anxious, and frustrated. Don't get caught in an obsessive-compulsive cycle of texting when your date isn't responding to you.

Make a quick phone call before you take a brief hiatus and plan on leaving a voicemail: "Hey there, I'll check in with you next week, hope you have a good week." Take a week off to focus on other stuff, and accept that this relationship may or may not work out. With my approach, at least you can get off the hamster wheel of desperate texting.

3. "I saw that picture you posted online of your 'friend'" 

This type of text message is most common among teenagers, but a handful of 20-somethings will send this kind of text, too. I know we all know the truth: This is very childish behavior, so let's not practice this one any longer. Be direct. Be direct. Be direct.


4. "We're done. The relationship is over" 

You probably don't need me to explain why you shouldn’t break up in a text, no matter what he or she did, or how much you truly want to end it. We're not objects, so we shouldn’t discard people from our lives through text as if they're trash that can simply be thrown out. I don't want you to do it, and I don't want anyone to do it to you, either. Let's all agree, from now on, to bury this childish, nasty behavior. We are adults!

RELATED: 5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved — Every Single Day

5. "Where were you last night? You think you can just stand me up?" 

First, don't be so distrustful and jump to conclusions. Because there may have been an emergency, always give your date the benefit of the doubt. Instead, text this: "I hope you're okay. I wasn't sure if there was an emergency last night or if I got stood up. Just let me know what happened, and I hope you’re okay." If you don’t hear anything back, it’s safe to say that your date may not win any awards for social graces, so move the heck on.

6. "Don’t ever speak to me again" 

Honestly, if you fire off such an extreme emotional reaction, you're probably doing it impulsively and may very well change your mind later. Texts aren't real conversations; you shouldn't ever be texting about anything that is intensely emotional, especially communications that involve anger. Texting is not the place for it, period.


7. "I don’t like you hanging out with so-and-so" 

I'd like to believe that this kind of text message is only used by teenagers who are experiencing the intense emotions that come with love for the first time, but I have clients in their 50s who will occasionally send this kind of jealous, angry text. If he doesn't want you hanging out with so-and-so, he shouldn't be addressing the issue by text; he needs to be a grown-up and pick up the phone, or wait to discuss it in person.

RELATED: What You Should Be Able To Expect After 5 Or 6 Weeks Of Dating

8. "Send me something sexy" 

If you really care about the person you're dating, don’t ever ask him to send a picture that could turn up later to haunt him. Even though he might do it, don't put him in a vulnerable position like that. Any picture that you send of yourself, do it with the understanding that it might become public later.

9. "Talk dirty to me" 

Unless you're Jason Derulo, you shouldn’t be sending this text. Save your sexy talk for when you're together in person; that's much more passionate and interesting anyway. Text messages can end up in scary hands, especially considering the frequency of hacking these days.


10. Any text where you call someone a nasty name

People shouldn't call each other nasty names in person, but doing it by text is even worse and more cowardly. Please don’t do this with your dates.

The general themes in these text messages to never send include intense emotions, sexual content, and starting arguments. Texting can be highly impulsive, so follow these rules and your relationship will be better off because of it.

RELATED: 10 Reasons You Should Marry An Emotionally Complex Woman


Eharmony is an online dating site dedicated to helping people find true love that comes with a lasting relationship.