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Do men hurt and cry like women do? We investigated.
By Brittany White — Written on Apr 26, 2022
Breakups are never easy, and while some people take them better than others, there are others who just can't deal.
As with most things in life, we all handle breakups differently, and you have to do whatever it Is that feels most natural for you in the moment in order to deal with the pain of your broken heart.
If you need to cry, let it out. If you get angry, get angry (safely and not directed at anyone, of course).
Whatever you may be feeling, the important thing is to let those emotions out, because when you keep them bottled up inside, you keep yourself from healing and truly moving on.
In my experience, guys seem to make that particular mistake more often than women do. They try to act all tough and manly, like they don't care at all, when in reality, they do feel sincere sadness about their loss ... right?
Do guys miss you after a breakup? Do they hurt like women do? Do they cry?
Maybe if they could be more honest with themselves and their friends (and us women) about what they are going through, they could potentially make things a whole lot easier for themselves.
One curious redditor took it upon herself to ask men on the AskMen subreddit for more insight on this subject.
"I've heard that women usually get hit with it instantly and go through the worst part in the beginning and eventually get over it slowly and gradually," she said, "whereas men feel numb at first and don't get to the worst part until later on. Is there any merit to that?"
Here's what men on Reddit revealed about how guys really feel after a breakup, including whether it hurts and if they miss you, too.
How Guys Feel After a Breakup, According to Reddit
1. Jumping back into the dating pool makes the pain of a breakup all too real.
"It hits me the hardest when I finally take a look at my other dating options/revive the online dating profiles and remember how bleak it is out there."
2. After a breakup, it feels like you lost out on a huge opportunity.
"It's like losing a job in your career path."
3. Seeing you move on after a breakup hurts bad.
"When you see your girl with someone else. Especially since almost all girls I've dated/known had a new guy within a week at most. Like damn."
4. The feelings get brutal when you start haunting a guy's dreams.
"Waking up after dreaming about her. Day ruined after that."
5. Just when a guy thinks he's over you, he knows he's probably not.
"It hit me hard at first, and then it just hits me randomly now even a couple years later."
6. Some men need to avoid all contact in order to handle the pain.
"Nah I get hit super hard right away, it's very intense and dumbs down over time. I prefer it this way although no contact is definitely necessary to move on."
7. Breakups hurt guys the most when they seem to come as a surprise.
"When it comes out of nowhere and up until that point you thought everything was going well. That is by far the worst because it means the other person didn't care enough to talk to you about things that were bothering them and you were falling for someone that didn't really exist in the way that they presented themselves to you."
8. Some guys need to delete all evidence of your relationship because seeing it hurts too much.
"I only had one serious relationship so far and it hit me hardest probably when I realized what we had was done despite being hopeful we would get back together. That moment happened when I saw her start deleting photos of us on social media. That sucked ... a lot."
9. Guys miss you with every single one of their five senses.
"When you accidentally stay up way too late at night and realize you miss her touch, how her shampoo smells, the talks, and just closeness to another human being. It comes and goes kind of like your fear of death and the only thing you can do is shove it out of your mind and force yourself to sleep."
10. The hardest part of trying to handle a breakup for guys is that they find it hard to open up to their friends.
"I think the grieving process is the same but girls tend to have a better support system. Guys tend to just bottle it up and act like it's ok which takes longer to get over. Girls also have more options in terms of dating so that helps. I know this is all generalizations but it's just my opinion."
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Brittany White is a frequent contributor to YourTango.