Heartbreak

10 Signs A Man Is (Or Isn’t) Capable Of Love

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Love is something that everyone should be able to do, but some just can’t. No matter how much you try with some people, they will never be capable of love or even showing empathy to other people.

Men who can't love and are like this are only out there for themselves.

And the moment you become inconvenient, useless, or otherwise not interesting, they’re done with you. Or, worse still, they may actually just date you because hurting you or controlling you makes them feel better.

What I’m saying is that these guys are bad news.

When I used to date, I often wanted to show guys who were like this that love was a real thing, only to get burned, time and time again. Like many women, I wondered if men were capable of being able to love in general.

Are men capable of love?

The answer is: Yes. Generally speaking, men are capable of love, and truly wonderful love.

But the truth is also that there are people of any gender who are incapable of love.

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If you run into one of these people, be careful! You shouldn’t try to fix them. Trying to do so will only end with you being used, hurt, or even abused.

These warning signs can help indicate that the guy you’re talking to may be one of them, so pay attention.

10 Signs of men who are incapable of love

1. He's misogynistic and objectifies women.

If a man hates women or talks about seeing them as objects, I have news for you: He can't love you!

How can he love a person that he’s automatically written off as a member of a group he hates? The truth is, he can’t. He just can’t.

Going into a relationship with a guy who hates women will mean that he’ll always find fault with what you do, no matter how good to him you are. Leave guys like this alone — all they know is hate, and you don’t need that poison around you.

2. He has a history of abuse and cheating.

Some behaviors don’t change, ever. This is because the behaviors in question tend to be a part of that person’s character and moral fiber.

If he has a history and a reputation for cheating on women and abusing them, then that tells you volumes about his character. A man doesn’t do this to his partners if he loves them, and a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

3. He’s incredibly shallow.

After having seen the difference in the way men treat me after gaining and losing weight, I have become a firm believer that men who are exceedingly shallow aren’t capable of loving anyone but themselves.

This is especially true if he brags about “only dating hot women” and doesn’t seem to actually listen to you when you try to talk about yourself.

If you were to gain weight or lose those looks, who’s to say that they would still be interested in you? Chances are, he’d leave.

   

   

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4. He has a history of using people, then throwing them away.

If he uses other people for his own financial or social gain, who’s to say he won’t do the same with you?

You should never expect to be an exception when it comes to guys’ behavior. If the people that he surrounds himself with are people he wants to use, then he’s going to use you, too.

5. He sees dating as a transactional act.

A lot of men confuse dating as a game, with the ultimate goal of winning you, as a trophy — and that’s really not healthy. Men who have these bizarre, unrealistic views on what they believe to be "love." They buy into this notion that men are entitled to women, and that buying dinner for a woman means that they are now entitled to sex.

Unfortunately, this kind of Neanderthal disconnect makes it impossible for guys to actually see women as people with personalities and complex emotions. He can’t love you if all he sees is a shiny toy he can buy after a three-date installment plan.

6. He sends unsolicited nude pictures.

Men who do this don’t see women as people because, if they did, they’d have more respect for themselves than to show them a photo like this out of the blue.

Guys know that girls don’t like this. The ones that still do it just don’t care, they're incapable of empathy and too immature and selfish to care about manners.

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7. He’s completely self-centered.

There are a lot of things that being selfish can be good for, but love isn’t one of them.

Having dated a lot of selfish men, I can tell you that guys who only care for themselves are men who will basically expect you to be an accessory to their lives, rather than a partner. Once they decide you’re “out of season,” they’ll stop bothering with trying to keep up the relationship.

8. He refuses to take the blame for anything.

This means he’s no good for you (or anyone else, for that matter) and he’s got a long list of problems you just don’t want to begin to touch. It also means that he’s incapable of the mature, thoughtful, loving gesture of admitting he’s wrong when he actually is wrong.

This is one of the basic principles of upholding a strong relationship, and if he can't do that, it's not even worth exploring everything else he won't be able to put forth even if you wanted to get serious.

9. He makes a point of telling you he's no good for you.

I’ve tried to date men who straight-up said they didn’t want to be in committed relationships, that they would cheat on me, and that they would hurt me.

Speaking from experience, I should have listened. When a man actually gives you the gift of forewarning you about a bad future together, listen carefully before going a single step further with him.

10. There’s always an excuse.

He bailed on his pregnant baby mama because he “was too young to take on that responsibility.” He cheated on his ex because “she let herself go.” He hit that one girl because it was "her fault" and "she was asking for it.”

Simply put: Men who are truly capable of love don’t need to make excuses for horrible behavior, because they don’t behave horribly.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer who mainly focuses on lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships.

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