Health And Wellness

Women Get 'Blue Balls' Too, According To Research

Photo: LightField Studios / Shutterstock
girl holding two disco balls in neon room

Blue balls are the bane of women's existence.

It's definitely a phrase you've heard before, probably when you were in elementary school listening to boy children swaggering around pretending like they had testicles that had already descended, or on prom night when you decided Jason was definitely not the person you wanted to lose your virginity to, and he wouldn't stop trying to convince you to help him finish.

That's because dudes love to talk about their penis, balls, and their mistreatment at the hands of women who won't have sex with said penis and balls. 

But did you know that there's a female equivalent? It's called pink balls, and while the name might sound all warm and fuzzy, the feeling pink balls give your vagina is anything but awesome.

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It's uncomfortable to become sexually aroused and then to have the action stopped by say, a Pokemon Go alert or a suddenly urgent need for chimichangas. 

The reason for that discomfort is vasoconstriction. 

That's science talk for when your vagina is suffused with blood because she hasn't been stimulated properly (darn you, foreplay!) 

It happens to both men AND women. This rush of blood leads to a swollen, pressure-filled feeling in the genitals. 

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Normally, having an orgasm releases that pressure. But when you don't because all of a sudden he remembered that he was supposed to pick up his dog from the vet, it leads to a dull, uncomfortable ache. 

"I told you," you will grumble while putting your pants back on while he looks for his car keys, "being 'too cute' is not a condition worthy of taking your dog to the vet, STEVE." 

But ultimately, his love for his dog is part of why you love Steve, so you put up with it. 

Did you know that most women don't know that pink balls are a real thing? 

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It's not that shocking when you think about it. Unfortunately, we live in a society where a man's needs can and do trump those of a woman.

Plus I know there's a lot of "fake science" circulating about blue balls. "But babe," says Ricky, the worst guy ever, "if I don't orgasm now my balls risk exploding because of my powerful, powerful, sperms." 

That's just not what is happening. Women don't need to ejaculate to climax and we still can feel the discomfort and annoyance of a sex session being interrupted. 

Side note, I'm so glad you left Ricky for Steve. Steve just seems so nice. 

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.